Back to School

August 31, 2010 at 1:01 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

Look Ma!

I got to revert back to being a student last weekend, and even though it was only for two days, it was pretty awesome.

This is a description of the class I took:

And here's the building I took it in

This two-day course presents an in-depth study of the components that make a successful museum exhibition, whether permanent or temporary.  Topics covered will include:  concept, research, conversation, publications, design, lighting, budget, loans, advertising, sponsorship, education and visitor satisfaction.  Speakers representing a range of specialists in the field will provide commentary.  This course may be taken as a supplement to Northwestern University’s Museum Studies Certificate Program or as a stand-alone experience for museum professionals and those who are interested in furthering their knowledge of the exhibit process.

Yes, it was awesome.  It was even more awesome because it was on the downtown campus and so not only did I get to miss out on a day of work but I got to eat my lunch right by the lake as I tried to figure out if I know anyone who will take me out on a boat.

Anyway, classes Friday started with a bang.  Our class consisted of about 10 other ladies and myself; most of the others had some sort of profession dealing with museums, while a few were like me and hoping to go that route.  I was by far the youngest but they were all really nice and didn’t throw me out because I was born in a different decade.  Our first

Nice, huh?

speaker was probably my favorite, as it was a woman who works on temporary exhibits at The Field Museum.  She spoke for a while and I was completely captivated.  She pretty much has my dream job and I’ve been working on an email to her to ask for further advise.  After the lecture, we took a walk and toured The McCormick Bridgehouse and Chicago River Museum.  Don’t know what that is?  Yeah, neither did we (and it worked to highlight a point about getting your museum’s name out to the public).  I actually walked right by it about four times before figuring out how to get in.

The Bridgehouse Museum is located at the corner of Michigan Avenue and Wacker Drive, so thousands (if not more) of people walk by it every day.  You have to enter via the Riverwalk so it’s kind of tucked away, but for $4 a ticket it’s more than worth it.  The museum starts below ground and you can walk out and see all of the massive gears that raise the Chicago River bridge, which is pretty nifty.  The history of the Chicago River is told on the next few floors and by the time you get to the top you’re treated to a pretty sweet view.

After our field trip, we worked on a project designing the floor plan and layout of a local history museum and then we listened to our professor lecture a bit more.  She put together a whole exhibit on Victorian dresses for the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC a few years ago so we were treated to the ins and outs of that, and we also heard about the problems and issues she faced while putting it all together.  On Saturday we had a few more guest speakers and they talked about everything from funding an exhibit to the different kinds of lighting options available.  We watched a few short videos and had a group discussion on the importance of being honest in an exhibit as well as what the main purpose of museums should be and what exactly they owe to the public.

I enjoyed it all.

I’m also seriously considering taking three 10-week courses to get a certificate in Museum Studies.  Unfortunately, I don’t think my work schedule will allow me to do this (they pitch a fit when I try to leave five minutes early so I can catch the express train which saves me 40 minutes on my commute).  In fact, I just got a written reprimand for going 15 minutes over on my last pay period, because I was dealing with clients one day and unable to get away for a full hour lunch.  Did I mention I wouldn’t mind finding another job?  One that allows me to actually work downtown and get to a once a week course in time to take it?  That would be nice.

One day, ladies and gents…one day.


Permalink Leave a Comment

Artsy Fartsy

August 30, 2010 at 1:19 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

I love free stuff.  Chicago is a great place for free events and attractions and just about every museum here has free days as well.  The Art Institute of Chicago goes a step beyond a sporadically placed free day and opens their doors to all from 5-8pm every Thursday evening.

I’m slightly ashamed to say I had never taken advantage of this opportunity – until last week, that is.  There are many things on my Chicago Bucket List and last Thursday gave me the perfect opportunity to check one item off.  I met up with a friend after work and we managed a good two hours in the place before the doors closed for the night.  Two hours in the Art Institute is a joke because the place is huge but I did manage to see some pretty cool stuff.  Also, I now know how I’ll be spending lots of my Thursday evenings from here on out.

American Gothic

This was one of the paintings I saw.  American Gothic has been parodied in pop culture since it was first released in 1930 and so chances are you’ve seen it (or something like it) somewhere.  I had always figured this was a representation of a husband and wife, but I was wrong.  Instead, this painting is supposed to depict a farmer and his unmarried, spinster daughter.  The artist of the painting is Grant Wood and he recruited his dentist and his sister as the subjects.  There’s a plant in the background behind the woman and the man is obviously holding a pitchfork, and these props represent the stereotypical jobs of each gender.  Also, the models sat separately and were never actually posed together in front of the house, which is pretty fascinating (at least, to me).

Here are a couple of parodies:

Somehow, I doubt Barbie would've made it in the early 1900's.

The original parody, also by Grant Wood , circa 1942

Another super cool and famous painting I managed to see is this one:

Nighthawks by Edward Hopper, 1942

Again, a piece of art that has been parodied many times.  While I was viewing this one, a large group of Chicago Trolley drivers happened to be checking it out as well.  I’m not sure if the Trolley drivers have to actually go to all of the tourist hot spots they talk about, but they were definitely getting a run-down at the Institute.  I listened in and learned that

If I could grow facial hair, I would totally have one of these bad boys

Hopper used green, red and yellow coloring in the painting because, psychologically speaking, those colors make people slightly uncomfortable.  Also, the only door that we see leads to the kitchen so we’re in an enclosed area with the subjects we’re viewing, making the whole thing more personal.  The drivers seemed to enjoy it as much as I did – and as an interesting side note, one of them had an awesomely retro handlebar mustache.  I certainly got a kick out of that.

As I mentioned, the Art Institute is massive and so I really only got through a couple of the exhibits.  I’m pretty excited to go back and check out more and one of the advantages of the looming winter is that I bet it’s a lot less crowded once the tourists vacate the city.  I plan on checking this place out many more times and perhaps one day I’ll become as familiar with its exhibits as I am with those at the Field.

Speaking of museum exhibits, I had my two-day class this weekend at Northwestern.  You can expect a recap of that tomorrow, because it was super cool and I geeked out all over the place.  The only thing that could’ve made it better is if the professor had had a handlebar mustache for me to envy while she lectured.

**Edit:  I tried to get the pictures formatted into a more aesthetically pleasing way but wordpress is working against me today and I lost our battle.  C’est la vie.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Letdown

August 26, 2010 at 1:19 pm (Uncategorized) ()

I did not get a call about the Month at the Museum.

I am sad.

This panda feels my pain

To make myself feel better, here are a few things I’m looking forward to in the upcoming days:

  • I’m going to the Art Institute of Chicago tonight after work, for free (it’s always free after 5pm on Thursdays).  I’ve never been and it should be pretty cool.
  • I’m not working tomorrow, as I’ll be attending the first day in my two-day course on Museum Exhibits.  It’s being taught by a woman who used to be the curator at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in NYC and I’m really looking forward to it.
  • An old friend is having a birthday get together Saturday night.  Pizza will be there, and I sort of have a thing for pizza.
  • Also on Saturday, some other friends are having a moving party (they’re not moving from the city, just to a different neighborhood).  Another excuse to go out and drink adult beverages in good company makes me happy.
  • In 19 days, I will be on a beach in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, with my mom and sister.  The thought of this makes me very happy.

Yes, I know there are things to be excited about.  I promise I’m not ungrateful.

I still wish I had heard from the museum.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Stuck

August 25, 2010 at 2:12 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

There is a traffic jam in Beijing, China that has currently been going on for eleven days.

Road construction is what started the whole mess and now it’s just a giant parking lot.  People have been sitting for an incredible amount of time and on Sunday the entire line moved less than a mile.  In an entire day.  The mess stretches over 60 miles long at its worst point and it could last up to another three weeks as construction continues.

Yup, this is happening

Can you even imagine?  I find it shocking that no one has completely lost their mind to road rage (yet) because conditions on that road aren’t exactly ideal.  No bathrooms, so people have to hike into nearby fields for relief.  Food and water is being sold by local villagers-turned-entrepreneurs but they’re hiking up prices and a bottle of water is going for about ten times the normal rate.  Trucks with produce aren’t refrigerated and so everything inside is assumed to be rotting.  One would think that they could open up the trucks to feed the people stranded but at this point the food is probably far too gross to eat.

So, most of the stranded passengers are killing time by playing cards and sleeping.  If it were me, I would seriously consider abandoning my car and hoofing it to the nearest town where I could find an actual bed and toilet, but I imagine after so many days it becomes a test of strength and will.  Challenge your own endurance and whatnot.  Sounds like a personal kind of hell to me.

Ring, damn you

Speaking of enduring personal kinds of hell…today is The Day that those who are moving on to the next round of the Month at the Museum contest are supposed to get a phone call.  I have not.  I’m aware that the day is not over yet but I’m also fairly certain that if I had been chosen, I would’ve heard by now.  I’m still holding out a sliver of hope but my high level of confidence has waned.

I seriously don’t think I’ve waited for a phone to ring this much since being a silly junior high girl waiting on some boy.  Ironically, my phone has rang today, just not with the call I’m hoping for.  I pretty much never get calls on my cell during the work day and so when my phone started buzzing earlier this morning, my heart jumped into my throat and I grabbed it faster than lightning.  I even shut my office door, in hopes that I would have to muffle my excited voice.  It was an unfamiliar Chicago number so I answered in my best I’m-worthy-of-living-in-a-museum voice and said hello.  A CVS recorded greeting replied, telling me my prescription was ready.  Balls.

A couple of hours later, my phone went off again.  Since CVS had already called, I figured this unknown Chicago number just had to be the museum.  Again, my heart started pounding and I felt excitedly shaken.  Again, I shut my office door and answered in anticipation.  This time, an actual human responded to me and asked if she was speaking to Paige.  I assured her she was and held my breath.  Then she informed me that a biopsy I had on a mole three weeks ago came back clear.

Great and all, but not exactly what I was hoping for.

Fingers are still crossed but I’m no longer holding my breath.

Please?

Permalink Leave a Comment

August Book Club Review

August 24, 2010 at 1:47 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

As I mentioned yesterday, I had my monthly book club meeting last week.  The girls and I met up at Ethiopian Diamond, which was my first foray into Ethiopian food.  Actually, none of us had ever had Ethiopian food before so it was a new experience for all.  And it was awesome.  The food names were nearly impossible to pronounce so we all just went by descriptions and pointed to what we wanted (yup, we’re American).  Everything came out looking something like this:

Might look funky, but oh so good

The food was served on injera, which is a type of bread cooked on a large clay plate over a fire.  There are also pieces of the bread that come out with the meal.  It kind of reminded me of a pancake, albeit more bread-like than breakfast-food like.  It didn’t have much of a taste but it wasn’t supposed to, because you used it to pick up your food.  No silverware in Ethiopian dining, and I have to admit I liked that.  Eating looked like this:

I approve of using fewer utensils

As I also mentioned yesterday, I went to a different Ethiopian place on Saturday night.  I really enjoyed every single thing I had, although I guess since it was all vegetarian I didn’t have as much to choose from as you meat eaters would.  I thought the communal style plating was especially cool and spinning the tray around to sample everything I could just added to the fun.

So yes, I’m now a huge fan of Ethiopian food.  And it’s a good thing I enjoyed it so much during Book Club night, because the book we read pretty much sucked.

Craptastic

It was called Girl on Fire and written by Rena Diane Walmsley.  Apparently this Walmsley lady is a former Miss America contestant and her photo adorns the beginning of every single chapter.  That in itself was annoying and distracting, but so was the writing.  The book was originally written for the Kindle, which sort of explains it’s vanity-press type publishing.  There were grammatical and formatting errors throughout the whole thing and it often felt that I was reading a rough draft of some high school girl’s English essay.  The story was about a girl from the affluent Deerfield, IL (ironically this is the town I work in, and it is pretty snobby) who attends a fancy boarding school on the East Coast.  She’s a privileged and spoiled kid who somehow ends up helping her English teacher with a writing workshop at a nearby men’s prison.  She falls in love with one of the inmates and they concoct an elaborate scheme where she shaves her head and switches places with his cell mate so they can finally be together.  By be together, I mean sleep together, because they are basically overrun by their hormones.

Besides the relatively poor writing, there’s not much in this book that’s really even plausible.  A teenage girl sneaks into an all-male prison and doesn’t get caught?  And stays there for many weeks?  Uh, right.  The entire plot was outlandish and silly and it made it difficult to get into the book.  The ending was even more absurd and I’m not even going to get into it here because it’s so spectacularly stupid.  Don’t worry, you’re not missing much.

At least the food and company was good.  If you have never tried Ethiopian cuisine I highly recommend it, but stay the hell away from that book.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Dating the City

August 23, 2010 at 1:17 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

I.  Love.  Chicago.

What's not to like?

I’ll admit that I’ve watched some Sex and the City in my day and this weekend I was reminded of the episode where Carrie admits to having a love affair with New York.  I feel the same way about Chicago and this weekend only strengthened that bond.

Friday night, I was walking home from the train with grand visions of a huge nap running through my head.  I had been busy almost every night for two weeks and frankly, my couch was calling my name.  As I was about a block from home, a group of teenagers came up to me and handed me a playbill for a show they were doing that night.  It happened to be at the Prop Theater, which is about a 2 minute walk from my apartment.  They said the show was about the tough issues teens have to face today and as someone who works with kids, I was intrigued.  So I went.  The show, called Where Do We Go From Here? was put together by the Anxious Voices Youth Ensemble, which is an organization that gets kids involved in writing and acting and encourages them to stay off the street.  They spent 8 weeks writing the script and it was about a group of inner-city kids dealing with teen pregnancy, violence, drugs and gangs.  It was pretty powerful and I really enjoyed it, although as it started late and didn’t have an intermission my bladder was not as pleased.

On Saturday, a friend and I met up for coffee at Dollop, which is a funky little place in Uptown.  I love independent coffee shops, what with their original artwork on the walls and great atmosphere.  The music was good and my iced Chai was delicious.  I wish I had someplace like that near where I live and I’m going to have to put independent coffee shop on my list of requirements for when I move.

After coffee, we had dinner at Demera, a nearby Ethiopian restaurant.  Before last week I had never had Ethiopian food and I actually had it twice in three days, so now I’m hooked.  Thursday was the day I first tried it, during my monthly book club meeting – I’ll be doing a review of that later this week so I’ll spare all the delicious details until then.  Suffice to say, it was great.

On Sunday, I treated myself to breakfast and then began another day of dating the city.  Since I’m taking a two day course at Northwestern this weekend, I decided to figure out exactly where it was and plan my route (yes, I’m a tad anal

Just Beachy

and yes, I’m extremely excited about the class).  I walked down to Wrigleyville with a huge mass of people going to the Cubs game and managed to disentangle myself long enough to hop on a train.  I found the building where my class is going to be pretty easily and had to refrain from jumping up and down at the thought of going back to school, even if it is just for two days.  Since the downtown Northwestern campus is pretty much right next to the beach, I strolled over there for a while and enjoyed some sunshine and people watching.  Yesterday was absolutely gorgeous here in Chicago and so I window-shopped up and down Michigan Avenue for a while before hopping on a bus and going to one of my favorite places in all of the city…that’s right, the Field Museum.  I spent a nice, peaceful two hours wandering around there but then they threw me out so I had to mosey on home.

It was a great Sunday and a great weekend in general.  I realized once again how lucky I am to live in such a beautiful, busy city and I am so thankful that I’m here.  I know that I’ll be bitching and moaning pretty soon when the weather turns to crap and I’ll have to come re-read this post to remind myself why I put up with the winters.  Until then, though, I plan on going on as many dates with Chicago as I possibly can!

Permalink Leave a Comment

SUMMER Round-Up

August 20, 2010 at 1:48 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Today is the last official day of summer here in the learning center I work at and I figured I should pay homage with a brief recap.  Our students are leaving and heading back to school but they have left us with some entertaining and hilarious stories, four of which I’ll relay here.  Keep in mind that most of our kiddos have learning challenges and/or disabilities, so some stuff that may seem wildly inappropriate is just par for the course around here.  Also, most of these stories were told to me by someone else as I don’t actually get to work with the kids myself.  Away we go!

  • Early in the summer, one of our African-American clinicians (teachers) was working with a student who had been here for a while.  They were reading a story about M&M’s and since this little boy is quite fond of candy and food in general, it seemed a good story for him to work on.  Apparently, he paused and got a very serious look on his face in the middle of a sentence.  The clinician could tell he was deep in thought and he said “M&M’s are made of chocolate, just like you, right?”  She later told me she had to bite her cheeks from bursting into laughter as she explained that while she looked chocolate, she was not made of it.  She also said that she’s heard that before but it’s been in the form of a sleazy pick up line from guys at a bar and hearing it from an eleven year old boy was a different experience entirely.
  • This next one that I did actually hear myself.  The kids here get a five-minute break at the end of every hour and

    To be young again

    some of them like to congregate in my office.  One nine-year old boy was in here a few weeks ago and saw me take a vitamin.  He then started talking about how he has to take a pill in the morning and how he has to chew it.  He didn’t know what it was but he did tell me the pill tasted like apples, cigarettes and a rug.  I have no idea how he knows what the combination tastes like and I didn’t really want to ask.  I mean, a rug?  Really.

  • Last month, a seven-year old girl was working with one of our only male clinicians.  This girl was a personal favorite of mine as she was sassy and liked to follow me around and pretend she was the Office Manager.  She even got to earn points so she could help me with my work (mostly shredding papers).  Well, the male clinician told me that as they were working one morning, she asked him how his sex life was.  Completely out of the blue.  It’s highly doubtful that the girl knew what she was talking about but that didn’t make it any less hilarious/awkward.  He told her that wasn’t really an appropriate question to ask and tried to ignore it but he was cracking up in my office later.
  • Last but not least.  We had one student in particular who was…quite a challenge.  He rarely listened or sat still and was constantly getting into trouble.  I didn’t hear the following but my boss told me about it and she said it was just about the funniest thing she heard all summer.  I should preface this by saying all of our staff uses positive reinforcement constantly and we’re always praising kids for doing even the smallest task correctly.  Well, this little boy had gone into the bathroom and his clinician was waiting outside.  When he came out, all my boss heard the clinician say was “(Child’s name), you should really go back in and put your pants on.”  A moment passed and then my boss heard “Great job putting your pants on!”  Then it was back to work per usual.

Perhaps you have to work here to truly appreciate this but I think the hilarity translates to just about everyone.  I’ll miss having so many kids running around but the quiet that comes with the fall will be nice too.

They really do

Permalink 2 Comments

Story Time

August 19, 2010 at 1:08 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

I read something today that jogged my memory of something I learned about in college, and I figure this is an appropriate place to share.  Readers get ready, because today I’m going to tell you about how a group of Native Americans took over Alcatraz Island.

Yup, it's an island

If you’re older than me, you might actually remember some of this.  The Alcatraz penitentiary officially closed its doors on March 21, 1963.  It had been used to hold prisoners for 29 years but, as all good things must come to an end, wound up being declared surplus federal property in 1964.  What the government didn’t realize (or simply chose not to remember, as so often happened in matters like this) was that there was a treaty signed in 1868 between the US government and Sioux Indians stating that all land taken from the Sioux and used by the government would be returned if the land was retired, abandoned or out of use.  The Treaty of Fort Laramie was likely something that the government figured the Indians would forget about.  This was not the case.

Moving in

It started slowly, with a small group of Sioux men occupying the island for four hours in 1964.  In 1969, a group of five Native American men jumped from a passing boat, swam to shore and claimed the island by right of discovery.  The Coast Guard quickly took the men away but later that same day another, larger group did the same thing and fourteen of them stayed the whole night.  The next day Richard Oaks (the “leader”, if you will) wrote a proclamation claiming the island by right of discovery.  The group then left but 11 days later a group of 79 Native American men and women came back to stay.

The plan was to build a center for Native American Studies, an American Indian spiritual center, an ecology center, and an American Indian Museum.  Within a month, daily radio broadcasts were coming from the island, and in January 1970, occupiers began publishing a newsletter.  Interestingly, celebrities got in on the cause and Jane Fonda, Anthony Quinn, Marlon Brando and Jonathon Winters all visited and gave their support.  Creedence Clearwater Revival (yup, good ‘ol CCR) even donated $15,000 to get the island a boat.  Also, as a little tidbit for you, a young Benjamin Bratt was in the Occupation with his mother and siblings.

Sadly, the Occupation wasn’t meant to last.  Remember that “leader”, Richard Oaks?  His 13-year-old stepdaughter was

Pretty much says it all

involved in an accident which she did not survive, and the Oaks family left the island because it was too difficult to stay.  Some of the other original occupiers left to go to school and still others wound up with drug addictions.  Then in May of 1970, the government (yes, our government) shut off all electrical power and telephone service to the island.  There was a fire in June that destroyed many buildings and surviving without electricity or fresh water became rather difficult.  On June 11, 1971, a large force of government officers removed the remaining 15 people from the island.

While not the success they were originally envisioning, the Occupation did bring international attention to the situations that many Native Americans were facing and it also instigated over 200 instances of civil disobedience among groups of different tribes.  It helped the Native American civil rights movement and served as a reminder to our government that they can’t always break their promises.

So, did you know about this?  Until my Native American Studies class in college, I sure didn’t.  I was kind of blown away that I was never taught this in school, as it seems to be kind of a big deal for Native Americans.  I guess it’s not surprising though, given how much of their culture and history is glossed over or just plain rewritten in school textbooks.

(In my best Paul Harvey voice) And now you know…the rest of the story.

Also, here is the link to the Wikipedia page that I summarized in this here post.  Some of it came from memory of my college course, but seeing as how that was years ago, this really helped.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Rude Awakening Part Deux

August 18, 2010 at 1:13 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

A while back, I wrote about how a charley horse woke me from deep REM and put me directly into a world of pain.  That was not fun.  I had another not-so-nice awakening this morning but since it didn’t hurt as badly as the leg cramp did, I shouldn’t complain too much.  However, I will complain long enough for a blog post.

This should not be an alarm clock

I had a lot on my mind last night and had a rather difficult time falling asleep.  Sometime in what I thought was the middle of the night, I was awoken by a short, loud beeping noise.  I heard it once and hoped it was my imagination; when I heard it again I figured there was a battery in a smoke detector somewhere that needed replacing.  A quick peek out my window told me it was still dark and so I figured it was early enough in the morning that I could take out the battery and catch a few more zzz’s.  I did consider just trying to go back to sleep and ignoring the sound but I knew that wouldn’t work, so I dragged myself out of bed and tried to figure out where the hell the noise was coming from.  Keep in mind, my mind was all foggy and full of sleep cobwebs, so I was not thinking rationally.  As soon as I walked out my bedroom my eyes were drawn to my kitchen clock and I saw it was much later than I had been hoping – it was actually only about a half hour before my alarm was supposed to go off.  That did not make me happy.  I grabbed a chair and pulled it to what I thought (again, sleep cobwebs were interfering with my thinking process) was the smoke detector and began trying to get that sucker off the wall.  In my attempt, I hit some button that made the device wail and that was something else that didn’t make me happy.  It probably didn’t help that I was attempting all of this in the dark as I still had grand visions of another 30 minutes of sleep running through my head.  I eventually managed to get the battery out of the thing, then I quickly crawled back into bed.  Relief.

Then it beeped again.

Wake up!

What the crap?  I angrily threw off my covers and stalked back to the hallway, where I realized that my tired self had just taken the battery out of my carbon monoxide detector.  Great.  So I grabbed the chair again, pulled it under the smoke detector and tried to pry the cover off.  That’s when I realized that I was too short to reach it, chair and all (I have high ceilings).  So I did what any quick thinker would do and took the closest, thickest book I could find and put it on the chair.  After standing on this, I was just barely able to pry the lid off the detector…then I lost my balance and fell.

I managed to somewhat catch myself before completely hitting the ground but the entire experience was not very pleasant.  I should also mention that I sleep wearing minimal clothing and so there was really not much of a buffer between myself and my fall.  I did not enjoy this, but I did get the blasted battery out of the smoke detector.

By this time, it was roughly ten minutes before I was supposed to wake up anyway.  I laid back down for about 45 seconds before giving in to the futility of the situation and going about beginning my day.  I’ll never forget that extra 30 minutes of sleep I was supposed to have and hopefully we can be reunited this weekend.  I’ll also never forget which device is my smoke detector and which is for carbon monoxide, and I might even remember to change the battery before it wakes me up from a sound sleep next time.

And while I know it could’ve been much, much worse (at least the detector was just detecting a low battery and not actual smoke), I would like to now forget that brutal wake up.

Permalink Leave a Comment

Ode to Trader Joe’s (to the tune of Baby Got Back)

August 17, 2010 at 10:49 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

Oh, my, god.  Shoppers, look at this store

It is so big.  It looks like,

one of those grocery stores in the movies.

But you know, who understands the movies?

I go to Trader Joe’s, because,

I like to eat well for cheap, ‘kay?

I mean, this store, is just so big.

I can’t believe it’s just so full of food, it’s like,

out there, I mean – wow.  Look!

It’s just so…big!

Baby got food

I like Trader Joe’s and I cannot lie

You other shoppers can’t deny

That when you walk in the place

with a hunger ’round your waist

You get hung-ry, and it gets tough

‘Cause you want your belly to be stuffed

Deep in the aisles not barren,

I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring

Oh baby, I wanna buy healthy food

Or take it’s picture

My former store wanted to warn me

But the food you got makes me so hungry!

Ooh, what’s in those bins?

Produce and veggies – look at the skins!

Well, excuse me, don’t abuse me,

I’m not the average foodie

I’ve got wine for dancin’

And organic candles for romancin’

The store is a good bet, to stay all the way outta debt

Hardcore like Boba Fett

I’m tired of crappy recipes

That do nothing to appeal to me

Take the demo booth and look at that

This store will sate your hunger but not make you fat

So, shoppers (yeah!) buyers (yeah!)

Do you want a grocery store that does all this? (Hell yeah!)

Tell ’em to bake it!  Make it!

Take advantage of that healthy store!

I got Trader Joe’s back.

Fin

Permalink 2 Comments

Next page »