February 22, 2012 at 12:57 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

Do you work with any imbeciles at your job?  Say someone who makes you just want to smack your forehead against your desk until either it or your skull cracks?  Perhaps this person drives you insane because they don’t read their emails but nevertheless tries to respond by picking and choosing twoor three of the most unimportant words in the text and then getting everything wrong.


Which would cause you to have to refer them back to the original email or copy and paste the same paragraph numerous times so it can somehow seep its way through their thick skull.  Maybe this person also comes into work late and leaves early each and every day while talking incessantly about their idiotic diet and stinky, sickly child.  Or sits behind closed doors with the shades drawn down in their office every day, making it both uncomfortable and unlikely for them to be interrupted.  While managing a large group of people.

This person probably can’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground and essentially makes any interaction between you two extremely painful and fruitless.  They also likely have no idea of the basic concepts of how their job functions or how the jobs of any of those that they’re managing work, either.  In fact, they might be clueless on the fundamentals of life in general, thus making every thing you try to discuss with them well beyond their grasp of knowledge.  It wouldn’t surprise me if this imbecile obtained their current position via bribery, trickery or plain dumb luck.  And now they spend their (half) days of work walking around like a giant, lopsided dinosaur while flirting pathetically with the receptionist and hoarding Girl Scout cookies.  Do you know anyone like this?

Yeah, me neither.

Permalink 1 Comment


January 4, 2012 at 12:34 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

It’s four days into the New Year and I could already use a vacation.

I knew it was going to be tough returning to work after having ten days off but I wasn’t expecting such a clusterf*ck awaiting my arrival.  I won’t get into the nitty gritty here but suffice to say – work is thoroughly kicking my ass.  And probably will for the next couple months.  Which means a likely decrease in my postings here as I don’t have time during the day and at night I now lay on the floor in my kitchen and cry while trying to dream up plans to become sufficiently wealthy.  Any ideas?  It’s okay, I’ll let you get back to me on that.

Oh. I wish.

Is your transition back to real life after the holidays taking as much of a toll on you?  I sure hope not but if so, perhaps we should form a club to bitch and moan about it.  I think they meet at the bar, if I remember that old joke correctly.  It’s 5 o’clock somewhere, right?

Permalink Leave a Comment

Ho Ho Ho

December 22, 2011 at 8:43 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , )

Is it Christmas already?  Well, it’s close.  This has been a whirlwind past 7 days full of work bar outings, friends’ birthday parties, a walk through with my coordinator of the tour I put together for the Field Museum (she loved it and I even taught her something she didn’t know!), apartment cleaning, shopping, gift wrapping, more shopping, Home Alone watching, anniversaries and the birthday of my boyfriend.  Not to mention the craziness at work, as a HUGE project I’m in charge of will be launching January 2nd and December 22nd (today!) is my last day in the office until that launch date.  Thank you, unpaid vacation time that my office is making me take.  Not that I’m really complaining because the idea of having the next 10 days off to go home and spend time with my awesome family and friends makes it all worthwhile.  It would just be better if I were getting paid for it.  Regardless, I haven’t spent 5 nights in a row at home since…well, I’m pretty sure since high school, so this will be an experience.  And the boyfriend will be with me the entire time so it will be a test of his endurance as well.  I hope he can handle it because he’s my only ride.

So my creative juices aren’t really flowing today since I have so much else on my mind.  This is a pretty lackluster post; my apologies.  I had a long-haired, greasy looking fellow give me a business card in the elevator at work this morning for his Ozzy Osbourne cover band, so that was sort of exciting.  Gross, but entertaining nonetheless.

I won’t miss this place over the next 10 days.

I’m not sure what the holidays hold for you and yours but I hope you find happiness and joy somewhere along the way.  Don’t be a Scrooge and try to remember the reason for the season – food.  Or wine, I’m not sure which.  Whatever it is, I hope it’s merry!

Permalink Leave a Comment

A Year Here

November 11, 2011 at 11:45 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Last week, I celebrated my one year anniversary at my current job.  In order to truly mark the occasion, the firm sent a limo to take me to and from the office, gave me an additional week’s worth of paid vacation and presented me with a diamond encrusted pen.

In my dreams.  In actuality, one of the ladies in the HR office said “Happy Anniversary” in an email and that was about it.

So. Totally. Me.

It’s okay though.  When I think about where I was working just over a year ago, I know I’m coming out far ahead these days, with or without the diamond writing utensil.  After my recent raise (did I mention I got an actual raise, not just one in my dreams?  Exciting!) I’m making more money than I did at my last job.  I have better hours as well – for the last year, I’ve been able to sleep an additional 35-40 minutes each morning and I regularly get home about 30 minutes earlier than I used to.  I don’t have to deal with the Metra commuter trains and that alone has been worth the job change.  However, I got even luckier and I actually now work with people I like.  Not that I hated my previous coworkers; in fact, there were a few whose company I did enjoy.  But my management left something to be desired and it’s not like I ever hung out with anyone there outside of the office.  The two fellow cubicle rats that sit closest to me these days, on the other hand, are a riot.  We often have probably not safe for work discussions and crack each other up on a regular basis.  My management here is totally different as well and my boss pretty much trusts me to do my thing instead of micromanaging me to the point of having to ask for written permission from three levels of management to leave my desk 5 minutes early (sadly, this is not an exaggeration of what I dealt with at my last place of employment).  So it’s much less stressful to get up and come into work every day and I’m happier in just about every way.

Which is lucky, since when I quit my last job I didn’t have a damn thing lined up.  I got this gig pretty quickly and while I was pretty hesitant about working at a law firm, things have turned out much better than expected.  I doubt I’ll be here forever but it’s a good fit for me right now and I’m glad I made the jump.  It’s kind of crazy to think it’s already been a year though.  In fact, it’s kind of crazy that 2011 is almost over.  And that I graduated from high school almost a decade ago.  Also, how the hell did I get to be nearly 28 years old?

Maybe I’ll get that diamond encrusted pen for my birthday…apparently it’ll be here before I know it!

Permalink Leave a Comment


July 26, 2011 at 11:14 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Yesterday morning, I woke up briefly around 5am and then went back to sleep for a glorious hour and a half.  At least it should have been glorious.  Somehow in that short amount of time I managed to have a dream that sent me into a panic and actually made me look forward to going into the office on a Monday morning.

In the dream, I was attending a new class orientation in some old castle-like building.  This likely stems from the fact that next month I’ll be registering for my last 10 weeks of Museum Studies courses at Northwestern, thus completing my certificate.


The castle was probably thrown in just because I like castles.  So there I am, sitting in orientation, when I glance at the clock and see it’s 8:05.  That’s when I promptly began to freak out, as in my dream I was supposed to be at work at 8am.  But not the job that I have now – oh no, in this dream I was still working at my last job.  The job that required me to get 3 levels of corporate written approval before leaving work 5 minutes early (seriously).  The job that guilt tripped me into risking life and limb to get back to Chicago during a snowstorm.  The job that caused me extreme panic and anxiety almost every morning as I had exactly one commuter train to catch to the suburbs, which if I missed, resulted in reprimands and write-ups galore.  That job.

So in my dream I began to freak out and I got that awful mass of tension in my stomach that sat heavier than a bowling ball coated in asphalt.  I was so worried about having to call my boss and explain to her why I was already five minutes late that I ran out of the classroom and through the castle halls to the nearest pay phone (since obviously castles lack cell reception and come equipped will pay phones).

Then I woke up.

I cannot tell you how relived I was when I remembered that that job is but a thing of my past and I no longer have to worry about it.  My current workplace wouldn’t care if I was running late so long as my work was still completed by the end of the day.  Ah, sweet relief, and the wonderful sensation of knowing that I don’t have to live with that kind of pressure anymore.

What does this all mean, besides the fact that I love castles and much prefer my new gig?  Well, chances are that my seeing the girl who replaced me put up a Facebook post about how her work day made her want to cry contributed to this dream as well.  Summer is the busiest part of the season over there at that learning center and yet here I am, carrying along at my desk like I did back in February.  Score one for me and two for castles, just because they’re so darn cool.

Permalink Leave a Comment

« Previous page