Better Late than Never

July 9, 2015 at 7:37 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

My blog posting has dropped off significantly as of late and I’m sure all three of you who read this are just plain devastated. Since I’ve been so out of the loop, this is a little overdue but warranted nonetheless:


This is a fight that was fought for far too long but the Supreme Court really came through in the end. Our country now joins many other countries and I just have to say – it’s about damn time.


While I am engaged to a man, I have always and will always consider myself to be a bisexual person. It was very important for me when Indiana passed same-sex marriage because I didn’t want to get married in a state where I wouldn’t be able to marry whomever I ended up falling in love with. As it happens, the person I want to spend the rest of my life with is a man but I could’ve just as easily ended up with a woman and knowing that I could marry whoever my heart so chose just makes said heart so dang happy it could burst!

When the ruling was announced, I was back in Indiana for my uncle’s funeral. I spent two days in the company of my cousin’s kids (ages 6, 8 and 10) and we had a big talk about why they were seeing so many rainbow flags on the news on TV. I explained everything to the best of my ability and nearly cried when the 6-year-old displayed confusion because “why wouldn’t people be allowed to marry whoever they love?” That’s progress, that’s our future and that makes me so damn proud.

This all means I need to work on dropping the terms “gay marriage” and “same sex marriage” from my vocabulary. It’s all just marriage now!

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Yay for the UK!!

July 17, 2013 at 11:12 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Look at the UK, with their progress and equality! Love it!

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Ding Dong DOMA is Dead

June 26, 2013 at 9:02 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

I woke up today in a funk for a few different reasons and the raging thunderstorm I walked through to get to the train certainly didn’t help.  My clothes are still wet and I’m cold and I don’t feel well and I’m just generally pissy, BUT there’s some news coming out of Washington that has certainly brightened my day.

The Defense of Marriage Act has been declared unconstitutional!

Getting closer to equal rights for all!

This means that any same-sex couple who weds in a state where that’s legal is now afforded the same rights, protections and hundreds of benefits on a federal level that any other heterosexually married couple already has.  It never really made sense to me that something could be legal on the state level but the federal level could choose to go against it, so this is a huge step in finally giving marriage equality to everyone.  Of course since same-sex marriages are still state mandated, a couple who weds in a state where it’s legal then moves to a state where it’s not will no longer have that marriage recognized.  That’s not right, but I have faith that in the upcoming years we’re going to see more and more states legalize gay marriage entirely.  Hopefully Illinois is among the next to do so.

Also declared unconstitutional – Prop 8.  Gay couples can once again wed in California!  This is good news to everyone who’s been fighting the ban since 2008.  Hell, it’s good news to equality-minded people everywhere.  These are all the steps that the government should be taking to provide marriage equality across the board.  I really think that our kids will look at these debates the way we look at the interracial marriage debates of days gone by – one day, it’s going to seem like something so wholly unfair and unthinkable that it will be hard for anyone to believe people actually displayed such blatant prejudice and hatred.

Also also, there was a successful filibuster in Texas last night due to Senator Wendy Davis.  She spoke for ten hours and prevented officials from passing legislation that would have caused Texas to have some of the most restrictive abortion rules in the country.  Their bill had stipulations that would have basically made abortions illegal in the state and Sen. Davis managed to bring home a win after standing on her feet and talking for hours and hours on end.  I know abortion is a divisive topic (much like same-sex marriage) and I know there are many people who think it’s fundamentally wrong.  Everyone is allowed to have their opinions on both of these topics but I think it’s really easy to form judgements when you’ve never had to walk a mile in the shoes of someone directly affected by these issues.  I also think that most pro-choice people will agree that we don’t want people to get abortions but we do want people to have that option if it’s the best choice they think they have.  Going back to the days of coat-hanger abortions in back alleys is a truly horrific and terrifying thought.

These things have all helped to lift my crappy mood and I’m so happy to have some positive news finally come out of Washington.  Hopefully the future brings more of the same!

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June 24, 2013 at 10:55 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

I was perusing the card section at my local Walgreens one day last week and stumbled across this:



In a week where we’re awaiting news from the Supreme Court on rulings for both the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) and the legality of Prop 8, it’s nice to see a little bit of support in a previously unseen place.  I don’t know about you but this was the first same-sex marriage card I’ve ever seen and it warmed my heart.  There was another card there that could’ve worked for either male or female couples but I thought this one was a little cuter.  Of course I guess I shouldn’t be so surprised that things like this are cropping up because companies are all about making money and marketing to same-sex couples will only increase their consumer base.  But jaded consumerism aside, I’m so glad that something like this exists.  And hopefully there will be a day in the not too distant future where items for same-sex couples are so commonplace that they won’t stick out to us at all!

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Fair and Square

April 25, 2013 at 11:00 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Looks like Rhode Island will be beating Illinois to become the 10th state to allow same-sex marriage.  While I wish we could have held that title, I’m just glad that more states are moving in this direction!


Thanks Rhode Island, hopefully we’ll be right behind you!

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Good and Bad

January 4, 2013 at 4:08 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

I like to keep things balanced and I find that life typically evens itself out.  Therefore, here’s a super short list of some good and bad things happening today:

  • Good – I’m getting a massage after work today, thanks to the Christmas present gift card from my wonderful boyfriend.  I’m hoping for a beefy German guy who won’t be shy about working out the massive knot that has resided in my upper right shoulder for the better part of a decade.  Bring it, beefcake!
  • Bad – I have a hole in the crotch of my jeans.  I knew it was happening but when I got to work this morning and looked down, I was amazed at its quick progress.  I love these jeans and I don’t think there’s any hope saving them, so I will be looking for a new pair this weekend.  And I’ve barely been able to leave my desk all day.

At least it’s not this bad…

And now on a grander scale:

  • Good – Illinois is thisclose to passing same-sex marriage!  Sure, it’s not a done deal yet but it’s closer than it ever has been.  Being the 10th state in the country to make such a leap forward would be a fantastic way to start the New Year!
  • Bad – my favorite primates of all time, bonobos, are at risk for extinction.  I was introduced to these peace-loving, free sex-having chimps in college and they’ve held a special place in my heart ever since.  And if the fighting in the Congo doesn’t get better soon (which isn’t likely to happen), then the only natural habitat they have will be gone.  Can’t we all just follow their lead, rub one out and get along?

No matter what, I have high hopes that this year will bring more good things than bad.  And if not…at least I have the hands of Hans to massage my troubles away!

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Warning: Political Post Ahead

November 7, 2012 at 11:51 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

Well, I think we can all agree that we’re glad this election season is over.  And while I’m satisfied that the person I think is best fit to run this country will continue to do so, I’m also thrilled at some of the other big strides that were made in this election:

At least this is over

  • Two men who don’t know near enough about actual science to be talking about anything related to sex are no longer in the race for the Senate.  Todd Akin (who said that in cases of legitimate rape [which is what, exactly?], the woman’s body has a way of shutting down pregnancy) and Richard Mourdock (who said that pregnancy from rape is something God intended) both talked themselves out of a Senate seat and I think that’s a good thing.  I believe Akin is just an idiot who needs to take a high school biology class and while I understand that Mourdock was trying to say he’s pro-life, he needs to realize that we’re supposed to have a separation of church and state in this country.  I wonder what a woman who didn’t believe in God would think about getting pregnant via rape.  So yes, I’m glad these men are not making decisions for our country.
  • The first openly gay person was elected to the Senate!  Wisconsinite Tammy Baldwin’s sexual orientation didn’t come up much during the campaign and it was largely her track record and ideas that won her the seat.  Which is how it should be, and I’m so happy to see it happen.
  • Along those lines, Maryland and Maine both voted to approve same-sex marriage, which is a HUGE deal.  This is because, while it’s legal in a handful of other states, this is the first time in history that actual voters called for this measure of equality rather than having it awarded by the courts.  This is a great step in the right direction and I hope more voters follow suit.
  • Voters also approved legalizing the recreational use of marijuana in both Colorado and Washington.  The federal law still says it’s illegal but chances are people will be able to smoke freely fairly soon.  I’ve never understood why legalizing alcohol but criminalizing marijuana has been accepted for so many years and I think legalization is a good way to increase tax dividends for any particular state, not to mention it’s kind of common sense to have both substances treated the same way.  Plus, I bet those states see an uptick in tourists once all is said and done.

I believe major changes are taking place in this country (more happened last night alone but I don’t have the time to detail all of it) and I think that if Republicans want to stay relevant, they’re going to need to become more moderate in the long run.  This is no longer a country where entitled, old white men get to have the say in everything and I for one am glad of it.  However, regardless of your political affiliation, I hope we can all work together to make this country a safe and prosperous place to live and work in, for ourselves and for our children.  That’s what it should be all about, after all!

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It’s a Damn Shame…

May 9, 2012 at 11:49 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

…that some people enforce their ideas of right or wrong onto others.  Whatever happened to the idea of live and let live?  Whether it’s regarding gay rights, reproductive rights, government and/or politics (and these things seem to be more and more intertwined nowadays), I just don’t understand how one group of people can force their beliefs on another.  Especially in the case of religion, which is unfair to the true Christians out there.  Jesus supposedly said to love thy neighbor and there was no caveat about not loving thy gay neighbor so where the hell does this hatred come from?

You may have guessed that I’m a little upset about the recent vote in North Carolina (which, by the way, affects straight people too).

I think actor/comedian Seth Rogen said it best when he stated, “Claiming that someone else’s marriage is against your religion is like being angry at someone for eating a donut because you’re on a diet.”  Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and beliefs but I also firmly believe that everyone should respect the differences in opinion that are out there.  Just because I don’t eat meat doesn’t mean I think we should pass constitutional amendments prohibiting others from doing so.  If someone doesn’t like the idea of gay marriage because they claim that the Bible speaks out against it, I suggest they take a look here.  The Bible never explicitly states that marriage is only between one man and one woman and even if it did, not everyone believes in what the Bible has to preach.  And since it’s the basis of a religion (which our founding fathers clearly wanted to keep separate from the Constitution), it should have no bearing on marriage laws today.  Besides that, the concept of marriage doesn’t solely belong to one religion or another.  It’s a human right and by denying it to the GLBT community, we’re basically saying that they’re subhuman.  As someone who is a part of this community, I find it disgustingly appalling.

Allowing two people who love each other to become stronger members of our society by giving them the same rights we’d give to a man and woman who drunkenly wed in Vegas (Britney Spears, I’m looking at you) isn’t something that’s going to destroy our society.  How could having stronger partnerships and more loving households possibly do that?  While I really do believe that I will live to see equality across the board when it comes to marriage, I simply don’t understand why it’s taking us so long to get there.  Did inter-racial marriages bring down the country?  Do the states that currently allow gays to wed still function?  Just what is the issue, then?

If you completely disagree with everything I’ve been saying, that’s your right.  I didn’t come to your house or office and make you read this post and you have the ability to just ignore me by steering clear of this blog.  Ignoring inequality isn’t something that’s so easy though and when that inequality is upheld by state and federal laws, I can’t just break those laws and get away with it.  If you don’t like gay marriage, don’t get one and please leave everyone else who’s trying to be happy to the pursuit of that happiness.  If it’s not hurting them then it shouldn’t hurt you.

Edit: Thank you Mr. President!

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Step in the Right Direction

December 3, 2010 at 2:00 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

This week was a big one for equality in the state of Illinois.  Please excuse my copy and paste job but well…it’s Friday and I’m feeling lazy.

In Illinois, defenders of civil rights won a significant and satisfying victory this week. After years of organizing and strategizing, gay rights advocates — led by State Rep. Greg Harris (D-Chicago) — convinced 86 Democrats and seven Republicans in the state capitol to recognize same-sex couples in the Land of Lincoln.

Gov. Pat Quinn was in Springfield to watch both chambers pass the historic legislation (SB 1716) and he plans to “follow his conscience” and sign the bill into law when it reaches his desk. “I think it’s a proud day for the people of our state and the families of our state,” he said at a press conference from the Capitol yesterday.

What will it mean in practice? Beginning on June 1, 2011, same-sex couples will be able to obtain a certificate of their civil union at their county clerk’s office. The license will entitle those partners to the same legal treatment given to heterosexual spouses under Illinois law. Equality Illinois has identified roughly 650 state rights, benefits, and protections that gay families can’t access currently. They include “tax relief, emergency medical decision-making power, access to domestic relations laws and procedure, state spousal benefits including workers’ compensation, inheritance rights and benefits, spousal testimonial privilege, and the right to control disposition of remains.” The Tribune’s report on the legislation today outlines some ways in which families will be positively impacted.

The cost to the state in administrative overhead and additional benefit payments will be negligible. And supporters say the change might attract more businesses seeking an inclusive environment for their employees. Iowa is the only other Midwestern state that recognizes gay marriage or civil unions. (Nine others and the District of Columbia do nationally.) With jobs, of course, come increased tax receipts and consumer spending. Academics at the University of California, Los Angeles School of Law estimate (PDF) that New Jersey — which passed a similar bill in 2006 and has 4 million fewer residents than Illinois — will generate $15.1 million in new revenue over the next three years because of its civil unions law.

Several editorial boards in Illinois echoed the governor’s enthusiasm for the measure. “The Illinois General Assembly made a triumphant return to the national headlines over the past two days,” wrote the State Journal-Register, “this time for actions that did not involve investigating, impeaching, or expelling a disgraced governor.” The Tribune, which rarely praises anyone in Springfield, called the bill’s passage a “remarkable and, yes, courageous step.” And while pointing out that the state and nation still have a long way to go before gay Americans are afforded “the most basic of rights,” the Sun-Times characterized the legislation as a “breakthrough.”

Outgoing Chicago Mayor Richard Daley made a similar point this morning, thanking the General Assembly for coming “into this new century” but expressing hope that gay marriage is legalized soon.

Harris, who is one of two openly gay House members, shed tears on the House floor during his dramatic opening statement Tuesday evening. “Once in every generation,” he said, “legislatures across the country have a chance to advance the cause of liberty and justice for all.” Here’s hoping this generation doesn’t stop now.

I agree with the Mayor in that I hope this will bring about actual gay marriage in the state.  Then I can find a woman, get myself hitched and continue with my evil grand plan of world domination through the demolition of that old sacred institution of marriage.  Or I could just rest easy knowing that more people in the state I live in will have access to basic rights that should be given to anyone, sexual orientation notwithstanding.

Either way, go Illinois!

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