Thanksgiving Recap

November 28, 2011 at 1:21 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , , , , )

My Thanksgiving was eventful, as always.  If you think you can handle it, I broke it down into a ginormous list – sorry if it hurts your eyes but once I got going I couldn’t stop!

The food was good, the company was better and we managed to fit more into the long weekend than I would have thought possible.  This included, but was not limited to, the following:  Meeting four new additions to the family that aren’t blood related; continuing family traditions such as drinking at the dive bar known as Fluidz the night we all arrived in town; cramming 15 people around various dining room tables and chairs for the main meal; eating so much food I thought my stomach was going to explode in a bloody Alien-esque scene; making two trips to Wal-Mart (two more than what I usually do in any given year); dyeing my hair for the first time in four years from a box purchased on one of the said trips to Wal-Mart; making a mess of the hair dyeing process and ultimately loving the new look; sleeping next to my sister three nights in a row while trying in vain to block out the television that she seems to be unable to sleep without; kicking myself for not bringing my ear plugs and eye mask; watching the Macy’s Day Parade and being thankful for not being anywhere near those crowds; drinking Jager Bombs and making S’mores around a fire (they do not go well together, in case you were wondering); taking photo’s of my 54-year old uncle’s hickey; driving my grandma’s Lincoln Navigator just a tad faster than what was legal; opening gifts from my grandmother with my other female cousins that all looked remarkably sexy and indecent (made for an awkward few moments until we figured out what the garment was); driving into New Orleans and staying at a 125 year-old hotel in the French Quarter; navigating various elevators that would only take us to certain floors because the hotel has been built onto so many times that it is now an official labyrinth; hearing ridiculously cheesy pick up lines all night long (including the old standby “What’s a girl like you doing here on a night like this”); having an eerily interesting palm reading done by the same guy at Marie Laveau’s  House of Voodoo that read me two years ago and hearing much of the same thing (only this time I’ll be married in a year instead of three…); getting lost in the lap-dance area of a strip club; voluntarily eating meat for the first time in almost 15 years in order to get an hour’s worth of free drinks out of my sister (it was a piece of fried crawfish and I managed to drink $40 of booze in that 60 minutes…also it will probably be another 15 years before I eat any more seafood); watching men on the sidewalk try to decipher drag queens from real women; more bar hopping than I’ve done in years and two hungover plane rides back that included horrid turbulence, screaming children, late departures, no time for transfers during my layover, lost luggage, hitching a ride on the old folks’ golf cart thingy, being the last person to make it on my connecting flight and uttering the words “Jesus Christ” at the end of it all only to be told by an airport official “Tis the season for that”.

The Big Easy can sure take a lot out of you

There were some other occurrences but I think this gives you a fair picture of what my holiday was like.  It’s a good thing it only rolls around once a year because I don’t know if I could handle this much excitement more often than that but I will admit that it would be fun to try!  I hope your Thanksgiving was equally awesome in its own special way and if it wasn’t, maybe you can come down with me next year.  That is, if you think you can handle it.

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Long Weekend, Long Post

June 7, 2011 at 12:01 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

My trip last weekend went pretty well, though as always it was a little too short.  Because I’m in yet another list-making mood, here’s a little recap of the highlights:

  • Having an elderly man on the train ride to the airport thank me profusely for my “pretty, pretty smile”.  I wasn’t sure whether I should be flattered or creeped out so I settled on a little bit of both.  At least he didn’t follow me to my plane.
  • Airport beer.  ‘Nuff said.
  • I had a stopover in my hometown so I waved a little, then had some girl who freaks out on plane rides sit next to me.  In

    The special I spent half my life watching

    related news, I realized how thankful I am that planes don’t really bother me too much.

  • The woman at the Hertz rental counter in the New Orleans airport took one look at my last name and launched into a long discussion about how one of her daughters married into our family a while ago, and did I know so-and-so, whose father was the brother of some guy named Mark.  It made me laugh, since up north no one can pronounce my last name but down south it’s common enough where everyone can make a connection.  Unfortunately, I didn’t know Mark.
  • I took a ride to the Morganza Spillway, which is the huge spillway making recent news as they had to open it for the first time since 1973 because the Mississippi had flooded so badly.  I’ve been out here before because my family used to own some of the land before the government turned it into the spillway but I’d never seen it look like that.  Water was everywhere.  The Mississippi is one helluva thing to mess with.
  • I had a pedicure.  With my father.  And it was his idea.  Apparently he’s still way too sore to reach down to trim his own nails (and while I’ll do anything for daughterly love, I won’t do that) so when my grandma came back from her weekly toe appointment, he suggested we go next.  Daddy/daughter pedicures ensued and I have photo evidence should I ever have the need to blackmail him.
  • During the pedicure, a huge storm came out of nowhere.  Now the “salon” we were in, Nail Biz, was actually a small concrete room and we were the only clients so it was a little weird when the power kept going out.  We were glad to be out of there, especially after lightning struck a transformer next door.  The ride back was a little scary since I’m not exactly used to driving in bad weather (and dad’s not up do sitting behind the wheel quite yet) and at one point we had to turn around because a tree was in the road.
  • Due to this storm, I spent the majority of Sunday picking up massive branches and sticks in the yard, righting a few chairs and swings and cleaning all kinds of debris from the pool.  In 90+ degree weather.
  • I didn’t mind the hot weather because I’ve been cold for roughly the last 8 months in Chicago.
  • I got bit by some ungodly looking creature with wings, pinchers, horns, fangs and an evil force field.  Or something like that.  Whatever it was, it left a nasty whelp featuring three weird punctures before it was through with my apparently delicious flesh.
  • I had a mimosa with my grandma, which was the first time we’ve ordered drinks together.  Yay milestones.
  • I watched a 5 hour Lawrence Welk marathon Saturday evening.
  • I read two books, watched 4 movies, caught up on my favorite TV show on Hulu and played a lot on my laptop.  It’s amazing how much time there is to fill when everyone in the house takes 4 naps a day and goes to bed by 9pm.
  • I dealt with another storm on my drive back to New Orleans to catch my flight.  I almost peed myself.  There was hail and lightning and more rain that I’ve seen in years – I actually pulled over in some truck stop to try to wait it out.  Then I became worried about missing my flight so I braved it anyway.  After dealing with a faulty pump at the gas station and an endless line at security, I made it to the gate as they were boarding.  The beer I somehow got for free on the flight calmed me down a bit and the whole ordeal made me even more thankful I’m car-less in the city.
  • Most importantly, I spent some good quality time with both my dad and my grandparents.  I’m not going to lie and say everything was easy – my dad is almost a foot taller than me and currently weights less than I do,  so that alone was difficult to see.  He’s doing well considering everything he’s been through but he’s not taking care of himself the way I would like and some difficult conversations were had.  However, I’m still extremely thankful I was able to go down and I already wish I was back.

Looking over this post, it seems I accomplished quite a lot on what was supposed to be a quiet and laid-back trip.  Though if I don’t see any Lawrence Welk between now and when I come back at Thanksgiving, it won’t break my heart – and hail can stay the hell away too.

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