Overheard on the ‘L’

January 19, 2011 at 12:12 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

Or El, or elevated train, or subway or however the hell you want to say it.

The scene:  Evening rush hour, Blue Line car full of people.

A man gets on.  He is shuffling, wearing ragged clothing and talking to himself.  The other passengers automatically begin to put in ear buds and avert their eyes, as those who live in the city are so prone to do.  The man walks past rows of empty seats to sit in front of a pretty girl.  She ignores him.  He mumbles to himself for a while and most of what he says is unintelligible.  The car begins to empty and one phrase is heard more loudly than the rest: “That bitch got what she deserved”.  Then the man begins laughing and continues with his quiet chatter.  A few moments later he speaks up again and all that is heard is one single word – “Cocaine”.  Another laugh and then a name.  “Steven Seagal”.  More laughter.  The man then stands up at the next stop, walks towards the door and suddenly turns around.  He left some lint on his seat which he grabs and puts in his pocket, simultaneously removing a plastic baggie and leaving it on the ground.  He points, laughs a little more and then exits the train.  The baggie looks as though it contains a residual white powder.  It is not picked up.

End scene.

Who wouldn't want this guy to star in their next movie? A crazy person, that's who

I know what you’re thinking – train guy was clearly operating a few cards short of a full deck.  That’s what I would’ve assumed too, had I not been paying such careful attention. My train companion was not your typical crazy hobo.  In fact, after everything I heard, I’m pretty sure he was a movie exec who is carefully plotting out the details of a new major film starring Mr. Seagal.  It probably resolves around a drug deal gone bad and a snitch of a woman (who is also the likely love interest) who eventually gets what she deserves, which comes in the form of a dropped prison sentence and new lease on life.

I can hear the Oscars calling right now.  I bet the guy on the train can hear it too.

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