Strangers with Whiskey

February 28, 2011 at 3:13 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , )

I took a megabus trip home this weekend to spend some quality time with some old friends and fam, and true to megabus form, I had an interesting trip.  I’m not sure what it is about me that encourages strangers to open up and tell me random things about themselves but it seems to happen a lot.  My Friday afternoon bus trip was no exception and was made worse by the fact that the guy sitting next to me was rather drunk.

I did not realize his drunkenness while we stood in line and chatted about megabus in general.  Oh, no.  I was oblivious until

Road trips are a trip

we sat down next to each other and he brought out a bottle of Jack Daniels that was 2/3 empty…he told me offhandedly that he had purchased it that afternoon.  It was then that I knew I was in for a long bus ride.

Over the course of the next three hours I was regaled with stories of his kinky girlfriend, his buddies who were growing some sort of fancy type of marijuana that I couldn’t begin to understand if I tried, his new job and recent move from another large Midwestern City, how his little sister was throwing her life away and how crappy his truck runs in Chicago winters.  At one point, this big burly man had tears running down his face as he told me how one of his friends gave him clean urine so he could pass a drug test.  Apparently, that’s the mark of a true friendship.  It was also around this time that I finally acquiesced and helped myself to what was left in his whiskey bottle.

After disembarking the bus (and leaving my drunken friend behind to go on to the next stop), I stood outside waiting on my ride mom.  While waiting, I somehow managed to get into a conversation about birthing practices in different cultures with a middle-aged woman also waiting for her ride.  In the span of about 90 seconds, we went from discussing the weather to talking about the evolution of the bodies of women and how modern birthing practices don’t take that evolution into account.  The whiskey may or may not have had something to do with my enthusiasm but hey, at least I wasn’t driving.

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Friday Round-Up

June 18, 2010 at 12:46 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , , , )

It’s that time again.  Time for a post full of random as we head into the weekend!

To begin with, I’d like to give a shout out to whoever left the mostly full bottle of Jim Beam and the halfway full bottle of Coke on the ground next to the train tracks by my train station (sidenote: who leaves more booze than mixer?).  I walked past it this morning and was faced with the difficult decision of leaving a sketchy looking alcoholic beverage where it was or having an early morning drink.  I stared at it for a moment before deciding to stay sober.  However, as we were informed that our train was running at least a half hour late and we would be standing around for a while longer, I contemplated that drink once again.  If whiskey breath wasn’t so obvious, I might have sat down on the tracks like a true hobo and helped myself to the bottle.  It is Friday, after all.

And it’s not like I slept great last night.  Actually, I take that back, I slept just fine but I had some very odd dreams.  Odd as in inappropriate-about-a-coworker odd.  Why does this happen?  Every now and then I wake up in confusion and am faced with the fact that I was very recently dreaming about someone who has no business appearing in my unconscious.  This time it was a manager from my office, a man who I give no thought to the minute I walk out the door.  In my dream he was getting arrested and before he was taken away he confessed feelings for me and gave me a hug that lasted much too long.  I woke up disappointed, because if I’m going to dream about people I know I’d rather dream about someone I’m actually attracted to, or hell, actually dating.  Then I had to come into the office and try not to act awkward, which isn’t easy.  He just actually stuck his head in my office to tell me something, so now I have the added awkwardness of writing about this and seeing him at the same time.  Ugh.  You can see how a drink might’ve helped my long morning.  Time to move on.

This story is also about work.  There is a little girl at our center who loves to come and hide in my office when it’s time for her to get to work.  It doesn’t really bother me as I welcome just about any distraction, but yesterday something different happened.  As she sat on the floor and tried to avoid starting her hour, she began to emit these guttural sounds from deep within her throat.  She sounded like the kid from The Exorcist, and I am not exaggerating.  It was scary as hell.  At that point I left her to her teachers and walked out of my office because I didn’t want to be around that (dealing with possessed children is not in my job description).

I should also mention that this is the least offensive photo that came up when I did an image search for Linda Blair.  Apparently internet photos of Ms. Blair come in one of two varieties – super scary or super slutty.  Go figure.

In other news, my food-dropping upstairs neighbor left me another surprise this week.  Upon examination, the item was determined to be a Sun Chip.  I will keep you informed of any new developments, because I’m sure you’re as fascinated by this as I am.

And now, I appear to have run out of time.  I only got a half hour for lunch today, seeing as how my train was a half hour late getting in and all.  Gotta love being an hourly employee.

…yuck, I kind of hate that this post is mostly about work.  I suppose that happens when you spend most of your time working, right?  Good thing it’s the weekend!

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