All My Friends are Getting Married…

February 11, 2010 at 3:47 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

…and I couldn’t be happier that I’m not.  I can think of at least six weddings coming up in the next year that I’m supposed to attend, and those are only the ones I’ve already received invites to.  Even my little sister’s friends are getting hitched – I spent Valentine’s Day last year watching her stand as a bridesmaid for a friend of hers whom I’ve known since elementary school.  My sister actually has it worse than I do, as most of her closest gal pals are now either married or engaged.  Personally, I don’t know if I ever see myself getting married but if I do it won’t be until I can marry anyone I want, male or female.  Until then, I will be content with my non married status.  Here are five reasons why:

Reason #1:  Planning a wedding makes you crazy

This isn’t always the case but it seems to be common.  Bridezilla types really freak me out and the thought of having a panic attack over the color of invitations or the size of a cake makes me want to strangle myself with a veil.  A relative of mine spent a LOT of money on a wedding when she was my age and she and her mother both had to get prescriptions for Xanax before the big day.  Some of my friends currently in the planning stages are experiencing stresses as well.    I think that when a couple decides to get married someone else should step up to plan it, for free.  They’re getting ready to make one of the biggest decisions and changes of their lives – how can they really be expected to focus on wedding colors?

Reason #2:  Weddings are freakishly expensive

The more I hear about this, the more dismayed I am.  People really spend as much on a wedding (which is only a FEW HOURS long) as they would a down payment on a house?  How does that make sense?  No wonder drive thru weddings in Vegas are so popular.  I just can’t wrap my head around the amount of money it would take to pull something like this picture off.  I was never the kind of girl who dreamed of what her wedding day was going to be like though, so maybe that’s my problem.  Perhaps if I had childhood fantasies about the dress I would be wearing and what sort of decorative table arrangements I’d have, this would make more sense.  But I didn’t have those fantasies (and at this point I don’t really think I will) and so it just seems a tremendous waste of money and energy to me.  Isn’t a wedding supposed to be about celebrating your love and commitment with the important people in your lives?  That can be done in pajamas.

Reason #3:  In-laws are often overrated

Trust me, I know how insane families can be.  I also know how insane someone else’s family can be, which is why I’m glad I’m not tethered for life to someone else’s family’s craziness.  Don’t get me wrong, I know some in-laws are very nice people and get along fabulously with anyone they meet.  I also know that some of them are completely nuts and would like nothing better than to sabotage any relationship they see.   Either way you look at it, adding yourself to a second family means twice the holiday meltdowns and twice the birthday gifts.  No, thank you.

Reason #4:  The divorce rate

Perhaps the fact that my parents divorced when I was 21 has something to do with my jaded view on this, perhaps not.  Actually, it probably did.  Anyway, I look around and see some of my already married friends who have significant issues in their marriages.  I know that no relationship is perfect and they all take hard work but sometimes people seem to get married thinking that it will fix all of their problems.  Uh, right.  I’ve just seen divorce happen to good people and it’s never pretty.  My family member who was prescribed Xanax?  Divorced in two years.  Obviously if I were to get married I would have to be a thousand million percent sure that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with that person – I can’t even decide what I want for dinner tonight, so how could I commit to something that…well, permanent?  I’ve heard “when you know it’s right, you know” – I’ve never felt that with absolute certainty so I’ll stay on the safe, single side for now.  Which brings me to Reason Number Five…

Reason #5:  I’m enjoying the single life


And so I have no desire to put a ring on it.  I’ve been single for almost four months now and it seems to be agreeing with me.  It’s also worth noting that being single doesn’t mean I’m not dating, because I am.  It’s scary and intimidating to be back on the dating scene but it’s also kind of exciting.  I like getting to know someone new and letting them get to know the awesomeness that is me.

Before I close here, I’d like to make a little disclaimer.  If you’re married or thinking of getting married, I am in no way trying to make you reconsider.  If you’re happy then that’s all that matters.  Despite what this post may lead you to think, I do actually believe that two people can meet, fall in love and live (for the most part) happily ever after.  I’d be lying if I said I never wanted it to happen to me.  But for now, at this point in my life, I am just fine with where I’m at.

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