November 18, 2013 at 12:49 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

About halfway through my morning today, I stretched a big stretch and noticed it.  Yet another hole in the right elbow of one of my favorite sweaters.

How does this even happen?

How does this even happen?

This makes the third one I’ve found since I started wearing my fall/winter clothing a few weeks ago.  The holes never appear on the left elbow, only the right.  Hell, you can see for yourself that this particular sweater actually has two holes on the right side!

So apparently I have supernaturally pointy elbows.  I’m not sure what to do about this.  Can one gain weight simply in their right elbow?  Doesn’t seem like that would be an easy thing to do.  Should I learn to patch my sweaters with leather so I look like some pretentious college professor?  Or cut the sleeves off and turn all my hole-y sweaters into t-shirts?  I pretty much just learned to sew on a button this year so I don’t think my skills are yet to the point where I can fix giant holes in sensitive areas.

I’m seriously open to suggestions.  Are there elbow-softening surgeries out there that I’m not yet aware of?  Should I start wearing elbow pads like I’m a little kid going on my first bike ride?  Or just suck it up and deal with the fact that poking holes in clothing is a super lame superpower I seem to possess?  Maybe I can start a trend.  Wasn’t there a scene in Mean Girls where the popular girl in school started wearing tops that were cut to show off her bra and then everyone else followed suit?  I wonder if I could pull off an elbow showing fad.  I’m sure it would have been all the rage back in Victorian England – my elbow would’ve caused quite the scandal.  Anyway, I guess this is why I can’t have nice things.

At least I have a deadly sharp weapon with me at all times.  Try to cut in line in front of me and just see what happens!


PS – told me that today is the 4th anniversary of when I started this blog.  My, how time flies.  Someone owes me some fruit or flowers!


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