ANOTHER Mysterious Magazine

February 11, 2013 at 1:30 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Okay so remember how I’ve previously received free issues of US Weekly and some random cooking magazine whose name I can’t remember?  Both of these were delivered for months

Apparently this guy owns Instagram...I barely know what that is.

Apparently this guy owns Instagram…I barely know what that is.

on end to my specific name and address, and I never did figure out how either of them managed to come my way.  If I’m going to be completely honest, I never made a single dish from the cooking magazine though I did read the celebrity gossip from the “entertainment” mag.   US tried to rope me into purchasing a subscription but I didn’t fall for it and they eventually (after like a year) quit sending me issues.  The cooking magazine still sends me something every few months and I look at it while envisioning grand displays of Betty Crocker-dom in my kitchen but I never get beyond the whole imagining stage.

Anyway, I received yet another random magazine on Friday, directly addressed to me.  It’s Forbes.  What in the hell?  How does a magazine like Forbes even know I exist?

I guess technically I am a businesswoman, since I work in a business and am a woman.  But I really have no interest in finance news, the top businesspeople in the next year, how to diversify my non-existent stock portfolio or any of the other stuff that I imagine this magazine talks about.  I rolled my eyes when I came home to it on Friday and then cringed in horror when I received an entirely new issue on Saturday.  Wikipedia tells me that this magazine is published biweekly – is that every other week or twice a week?  I’m a little nervous about this and am kind of worried I’m going to come home today to like 12 more issues.  I guess I’ll rip off my address and take them to the gym because it’s possible someone there would enjoy them.  Personally, I got bored just reading the cover.

Why can’t I get free things like candy or money in the mail?

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Special Delivery!

February 25, 2011 at 11:33 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

Since the last post was on the serious side, here’s a nice little story to make your soul happy:

MEMPHIS, TN (WMC-TV) – A pizza delivery driver was called a hero Monday after she likely saved an elderly woman’s life.

Before Monday’s incident, most neighbors knew little about Memphis resident Jean Wilson, except that she’s eaten pizza daily for the past three years.

“We make her pizza every day before she even calls, because we know she’s going to call,” delivery driver Susan Guy said.

Guy often delivers Wilson’s regular order, one large pepperoni pizza, but recently workers at her restaurant noticed an unusual break in the pattern.

“She hadn’t called in three days,” Guy said. “My boss told me about it today.”

Guy insisted to her boss that she be allowed to check on Wilson.

“He was like, ‘Naw, you don’t have to do that,’ and I said, ‘Yeah I do.  Clock me out if that’s what you gotta do,'” Guy said.

Guy drove to Wilson’s house and knocked on her door, but no one answered.  Then, she banged on Wilson’s windows, but there was still no response. Running out of options, Wilson ran to neighbor Larry Comeaux’s house for help.

“The pizza lady came over and knocked on the door wanting to know if I’d seen the lady across the street,” Comeaux said.

“And he said, ‘No, maybe she’s not home,'” Guy said. “And I said, ‘Well, not home?’ I said, ‘How many times have you see her leave?’ And he goes, ‘Never.'”

Guy quickly called 911.  When police arrived, they broke down the door to Wilson’s home, and found her lying on a floor inside.

They soon learned that Wilson had fallen on Saturday, and couldn’t get over to a telephone to call for help.  Investigators said it’s possible that her pizza-only diet may have saved her life.

“She treats us really well,” Guy said. “She appreciates us, and that’s something we don’t get in customers a lot.”

Late Monday evening, Wilson was in non-critical condition at St. Francis Hospital.

Tuesday, Wilson was offered help in the form of a Life Alert system by a local company.


Not going to lie, I teared up a little upon reading this.  It reminded me of a story from my Dairy Queen days, back when I worked the breakfast shift on weekends  (in case you weren’t aware, DQ makes phenomenal breakfasts.  Seriously, that gravy is to die for).  Anyway we had our regulars, the old coffee drinkers who would come in at the same time every day and gossip with one another for a few hours.  There was one man in particular who would show up daily and order the exact same breakfast, but he wasn’t a member of the coffee drinker club.  He was a stroke victim and couldn’t speak with great clarity so he usually sat alone while he ate.  He used a cane and wasn’t very mobile so I became friendly with him and would often help him inside and bring his meal to his table.  He might have been slightly handicapped but he was also a little bit of a pervert…he was always telling my 16-year old self how good I looked and I caught him staring at my ass on more than one occasion.

This is not the direction I meant for this story to take.  Anyway, there was one winter morning that was particularly nasty and as breakfast serving time drew to an end, a coworker of mine and I noticed our cane guy hadn’t been in.  We knew where he lived, as it was right down the road and he drove a distinctive old Cadillac, so we decided to take his breakfast to him (my coworker was a big, burly guy…not that I was worried about the older man, but better to be safe than chopped up under a porch).  While this story doesn’t end with us saving his life, he was extremely grateful for the free meal we brought him and there were tears in his eyes when we left.  It was my good deed for the year and it made me feel a little better about working a crap job in the fast food industry.

I pass by the old guy’s place when I’m visiting home and noticed that his son’s truck usurped the spot of the Caddy years ago.  I like to think my old friend is now enjoying that big, gravy laden breakfast buffet in the sky while checking out all of the jailbait his heart can handle.

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