Sweatiquette

August 26, 2014 at 7:33 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

One day last week, as I was finishing up a work out at the gym and toweling off the bucket of sweat that was pouring off of my face, I ran into someone I used to work with at my old job. This is a guy that I was never super close to but someone I would recognize and say ‘hi’ to in passing and as soon as I realized it was him, he locked eyes with me. I had kind of hoped he wouldn’t recognize me because I’ve seen people before who don’t realize the red-faced girl with her bangs pulled back and wearing a dingy tank top is someone they know, but no such luck with this guy. There was recognition in his face so I was stuck. And I was out of breath and panting, which isn’t exactly conducive to having a conversation. We each paused for a half second like a deer in headlights and then the unavoidable greeting took place. He removed his ear buds and I warned him not to get too close to me because I was so sweaty so we did one of those paltry, half-assed, one-armed hug attempt things that makes both parties feel super awkward. Especially when one party is slick with sweat.

Me, five days a week

Then we got to have the exciting type of small talk that’s specifically reserved for barely-there acquaintances. First came the whole “I didn’t realize you lived in this neighborhood!” chat, and after that we briefly spoke of people we used to work with. Then we shared how much better off we were in our new jobs and well, that about covered all we had in common. Oh, he did tell me I looked like I had lost a lot of weight (I’ve lost a little but his enthusiasm made me feel like I spent my former job dressed as Shamu) so that was nice. I think.

And that was that. We smiled and waved and I continued to wipe off the sweat drenching every part of my body as we said our good-byes. Then I saw him the next day after my next workout but we were both able to get away with a slight head nod and smile with no actual words. Hopefully that’s the extent of all future interactions because spending time chit-chatting with someone I don’t really know while puddles of sweat form under my boobs isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

Now chit-chatting with someone I do really know while puddles of sweat form under my boobs? Sign me up! No, not really. If you see me at the gym please just wave and maybe hand me a water bottle but don’t say anything else. Unless it’s to inform me how little I resemble Shamu.

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Smoked Out

September 18, 2013 at 11:43 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Do you know what an e-cigarette is?  I didn’t, until recently.  It’s a little electronic device that basically allows smokers to get their nicotine fix in environments where actual smoking wouldn’t be allowed.  The user emits a vapor of sorts that looks like smoke and the e-cigarettes have all kinds of flavors and scents.  They’re supposedly helpful to people who are trying to quit although they’re so new that there isn’t tons of research as to the long-term effects.

They are also extremely popular around our office.

The two dude-like bros I now share an office with both use these.  It kind of puts me in an awkward situation because they’re not banned and the boss knows they smoke them.  Others in the office smoke them too but those people don’t share a small office with a nonsmoker.  In order to keep the peace I typically keep my mouth shut but one day this week I had to finally say something.  The scent or flavor or whatever from their e-cigarettes was honestly making me nauseous and since the guys also insist on keeping our door shut, there wasn’t exactly much ventilation going on.  They were nice about it when I spoke up and we aired the room out for a bit but they were both puffing away within 30 minutes.

I just don’t see how this isn’t bad for you…

Okay, if you’re trying to quit smoking and use them to help wean you off it could be beneficial but when you sit in here and blow smoke all day every day, there has to be some sort of lasting effect.  I could complain to my boss but he would just tell me I could move back out to the cubicles and I’d rather deal with the smoke than do that.  Not that I absolutely love sharing this office all the time but it’s sort of the principal of the thing.  Plus, I still get a pretty cool view and I’m sitting in the chair and at the desk which used to belong to the founder of the firm, so there’s that.

Anyway one of the dude bros came in today complaining about how his throat was sore from all the smoking and he’s going to take a break.  Praise be!  Maybe it’ll rub off on the other one soon and I can once again work in a non-chemically treated, smokeless environment.

As a side note, both guys have been singing along to

that video all day.  At least it’s never boring around here…

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Rant

February 22, 2012 at 12:57 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )

Do you work with any imbeciles at your job?  Say someone who makes you just want to smack your forehead against your desk until either it or your skull cracks?  Perhaps this person drives you insane because they don’t read their emails but nevertheless tries to respond by picking and choosing twoor three of the most unimportant words in the text and then getting everything wrong.

Incoming

Which would cause you to have to refer them back to the original email or copy and paste the same paragraph numerous times so it can somehow seep its way through their thick skull.  Maybe this person also comes into work late and leaves early each and every day while talking incessantly about their idiotic diet and stinky, sickly child.  Or sits behind closed doors with the shades drawn down in their office every day, making it both uncomfortable and unlikely for them to be interrupted.  While managing a large group of people.

This person probably can’t tell their ass from a hole in the ground and essentially makes any interaction between you two extremely painful and fruitless.  They also likely have no idea of the basic concepts of how their job functions or how the jobs of any of those that they’re managing work, either.  In fact, they might be clueless on the fundamentals of life in general, thus making every thing you try to discuss with them well beyond their grasp of knowledge.  It wouldn’t surprise me if this imbecile obtained their current position via bribery, trickery or plain dumb luck.  And now they spend their (half) days of work walking around like a giant, lopsided dinosaur while flirting pathetically with the receptionist and hoarding Girl Scout cookies.  Do you know anyone like this?

Yeah, me neither.

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Better and Better, Year after Year

February 3, 2012 at 12:03 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

Tomorrow’s my birthday!  I still feel like a little kid on my special day and I don’t think any amount of years or gray hairs will do anything to change that (at least I hope not).  In honor of the beginning of my 28th year here on Earth, I thought I’d post a photo from my youth.  Here’s me, age 5:

In my favorite color, too

This photo was taken in the basement of my house, where my dad kept all of his clothes.  My sister and I were playing dress up and apparently in an effort to emulate Michael Jackson, I was wearing a sock on my hand.  I’m also sporting a cast, a cane and a shirt that reads “Birthdays come but once a year.  Aren’t you glad you’re not a Birthday”.  How appropriate, right?  Even at an early age, I am the epitome of class.  Also please note the creepy giant bear in the background…yes, my childhood was interesting, if nothing else.

And now, 23 years after this photo was taken, here I am.  I can honestly say that I’m in a better place in my life now than I could have ever hoped for and I am excited to see what happens next.  Especially today – a coworker (who apparently loves me) made cheese stuffed gnocchi, salad, and french bread (okay she bought that) for lunch, along with red velvet cupcakes.  This was all done from scratch, which I didn’t even know you could do.  I also walked into this when I got in the office this morning:

They really like me!

Lunch!

Lunch was completely amazing and the fantastic cook can be seen here hiding her head behind her desk.  The flowers came from the support staff here and they look and smell great.  Seriously, how did I get so lucky?  After work I’ll be going out with a select group of fantastic friends for dinner and a show – a burlesque show called Indiana Jones: Temple of the Boob to be specific.  Don’t worry, I’m sure I’ll have updates for you later on in the weekend.  Tomorrow (my actual birthday) will consist of me sleeping in as late as possible and a mystery dinner someplace with Scott.  I’m sure I’ll manage to fill the day somehow and honestly I’m glad it’s going to be a little laid back.  After the shenanigans tonight, I may need it!

Seriously though, I can’t help but feeling like the luckiest girl in the world.  I never really used to think about what my life would be like when I was a “grown up” and even though I don’t feel I’ve reached that status yet, I’m pretty sure I’ve been an adult for a while.  I still don’t have a grand, master plan but I think it’s a little better this way.  I’ve been pleasantly surprised by many things over the past few years and each day and each year really does seem to be better than the last.  I’m grateful for it all and grateful to my parents for bringing me into this world to begin with.  I’m especially grateful to my Mom, who had to deal with having her stomach cut open in order to get me out (not to mention dealing me through my teenage years, when I’m sure she wished she could cut me instead).  I’m also grateful to all my friends and family who are making my birthday weekend the best in memory.

I’m also glad I no longer thing wearing a white sock on my hand is the epitome of style.  I grew out of that weeks ago.

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