It’s Raining Babies!

March 20, 2017 at 3:01 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

And thankfully none of them are mine!

I feel like I make these posts every so often, where I talk about how every single person I know is pregnant. This is another one of those posts because once again I’m surrounded by pregnant people! Or pregnant women, more specifically.


I haven’t planted any babies so that means I won’t get pregnant, right?

One of my closest coworker friends is pregnant with her third child right now, as are three of our other coworkers and one of my bosses. Two of these five pregnant co-workers sit directly next to me and all are due around the same time so I’m hearing lots and lots about this whole pregnancy thing . Also, over the weekend Scott’s little sister announced that she’s pregnant with her first child! This means we’ll have another little niece or nephew to spoil, since my brother-in-law and his wife have a two-year-old son too. On top of that, one of my closest friends in Chicago is trying for her second kid and one of my closest friends from high school is also trying to get knocked up – while our other high school BFF just had her first kid around Christmas. SO MANY BABIES!

You may think this is giving me baby fever but, even though we’re moving into a two-bedroom apartment on the first floor as compared to our one-bedroom pad on the third floor, I am in no way trying to get pregnant too. After all, I have enough kids around me to keep up without popping out one of my own!

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Meet and Greet

April 20, 2015 at 7:19 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

I finally got to meet my nephew this weekend! Technically, he’s Scott’s nephew but since we’re going to be getting married, I’m claiming the title of Aunt now. Or Auntie. Or maybe the abbreviation A.P., kind of like a high school college prep class? Actually, I’ll probably just stick with Aunt.

Giraffe babies are cute too.

Anyway. The baby was born a couple of weeks ago but since I was sick with the plague bronchitis, I had to quarantine myself away from the little tyke. I’ve mostly recuperated though and now the baby and I are no longer strangers! It’s been a little while since I held a newborn and I forgot how tiny they are. He was swaddled up in a blanket and looked like a baby burrito, which was adorable and made me kind of hungry for some Taco Bell. He napped for the first part of my and Scott’s visit but eventually his mom decided he needed to eat so she poked and prodded him until he woke up. Then there were eyes! Little, adorable, blue baby eyes that I’m going to pretend knew exactly who I was. He grabbed my finger at one point so I can only assume he loves me the most already.

I asked the new momma how things were going and she summed it up by saying that while she’s heard motherhood described as a lot of things, so far it had mostly been watching Netflix while nursing with one hand and trying to shove food down her own throat with the other. Which doesn’t seem so bad to me but then I remember a little thing called diapers. The baby actually made good use of his diaper at one point while he was on my lap and I gladly passed him off to his daddy while patting myself down to make sure none of my own clothing was damaged in the process. Everything was fine so the kid and I are still cool.

It’s pretty exciting to see all of this happening and even more exciting because it’s calmed Scott’s parents down on the whole grandbaby thing – for now. If I could just get my sister to start popping out kids to satisfy my mom’s own wishes, I think we’d be all set! I mean, it’s all Netflix and binge eating anyway, right?

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This is The End

April 1, 2015 at 9:45 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Well, I have an announcement.  I’m going to quit writing this here blog.

I know, I know, you’re devastated. I don’t love the idea myself but I’ve just been too damn busy to keep up with it. Between work, volunteering at the museum, working part-time with various programs at the museum, writing my freelance magazine articles, volunteering at the food pantry, sitting on a new committee at the food pantry and now planning a wedding, my plate is just too full.  Added to that is another announcement that I feel I should reveal – I’m pregnant!

It’s not exactly on the time frame Scott and I had in mind but we’re thrilled nonetheless. It’s going to be a crazy time and we’re freaking out in the best way possible but I have to kind of start focusing on this baby growing inside of me and oh god I can’t keep this up because it’s all a bunch of bullshit. Happy April Fool’s Day!  I imagine you may have picked up on this prank as I feel the pregnancy bit was taking it a little too far but I just couldn’t help myself. Although to be fair, if I really was pregnant I probably would quit with the blog but that would mostly be because I’d be crying in the corner of the one and only closet in our apartment, wondering how to fit a crib in the dining room. Thankfully, that is not currently a concern!

Nothing’s changing and I’ll try to continue posting as much as I can, when I can. I’ll be out of town all weekend celebrating Easter and looking at a potential wedding venue (my list of things keeping me busy was actually pretty accurate so maybe I’m the fool) and I’ll be offline for a few days. That said, I hope everyone has an April 1st void of vicious or embarrassing pranks and an Easter full of chocolate and deviled eggs. And I promise, that combination is not a pregnancy craving!

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Nice Nice Baby

March 2, 2015 at 8:47 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

I went to two baby showers last week and they couldn’t have been more different. The most recent one was thrown at my office for a coworker of ours and it was a nice catered lunch in a conference room. There were gifts and cake but no games or decorations. Simple and enjoyable.

The party favor is a jar of hot chocolate, ready to be made. Told you they were legit.

The party favor is a jar of hot chocolate, ready to be made. Told you they were legit.

The first shower was last weekend and was for my future brother-in-law’s wife. So I guess my future sister-in-law? I guess I should figure out who becomes what sometime before my own wedding but oh well, I’ve got time. Anyway, Scott’s mom and sister put together the shower at his mom’s house and it was amazing. As in, it looked professionally put together. The decorations they created were ample and adorable, they had TONS of amazing food that they made from scratch plus more than a couple of kinds of booze. Which is kind of ironic at a baby shower but hey, it’s not like all of us were pregnant! The parents-to-be were treated to many new baby accessories and the only games we played involved paper and pencils, so that was a relief (anyone who has played the baby game involving diapers and candy bars knows what I mean). Everyone had a great time and it was a helluva lot more fun than the work shower I went to. Which is good, because I’m going to be related to these people at some point in the foreseeable future. In related news, I’m excited to be an aunt! Though it would be even cooler if it was my sister who was having the baby. Hint hint, sis.

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Baby Fever

October 14, 2014 at 6:55 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )

Apologies to my mom and sister but this is not a post about me wanting children.

Babies sure do seem to be everywhere, though. A good friend of mine from college is due with her first child in about two weeks, so that countdown has begun. A cousin of mine gave birth to her second child, a little girl, on Friday, then a woman I work with at the Field Museum announced her pregnancy on Saturday. On Sunday, Scott and I went to the ‘burbs to celebrate the upcoming birthdays of his mom and sister-in-law but unfortunately there were no newborn babies in attendance. We had snacks, pizza and cake then the two birthday girls started opening presents, which seemed to be the most exciting part of the afternoon. The last card Scott’s mom opened was addressed to “#1 Grandma”, which registered with everyone about 20 seconds after she opened it. Scott’s brother and his wife are expecting the first grandchild for the entire family, and since they had always said they weren’t going to have children it came as quite a shock for everyone! The have quite a few reptiles as pets and we all honestly thought that they were announcing the pregnancy of one of their chameleons or something. Once we figured out they were talking about a human baby, we all immediately got tears in our eyes and Scott’s dad went out to the balcony where he started to shout “I’m going to be a grandpa!” It was pretty much the best birthday present his mom could’ve asked for and even Scott was teary-eyed at the thought of becoming an uncle. So I guess I’ll be kind of like an aunt? Even if that’s not official I shall make this child address me by that title because I just plain want to be an aunt (hear that, sissy? Maybe for my birthday next year? You always give such great gifts and a niece or nephew would top them all!)

If I smear the blood of a stork on my door, does that mean babies will pass over me like something out of the Bible?

This is also great because it relieves some of the pressure that Scott’s sister and I had been facing about when we were going to have children of our own. Whew! With this new little one on the horizon, we all have plenty that will hold our attention.

But I still wouldn’t mind if my sister had a baby!

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Brides, Babies and Blasted Boots

March 30, 2014 at 2:28 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )

Everyone sure is growing up (and don’t worry, there are no major life announcements pertaining to me in this blog post.  Other than a little blurb about shoes).  In the last few weeks, I’ve been told news of a family member having another baby, attended one baby shower and received an invite for another, attended one bachelorette party and received an invite for another and received three bridal shower invites.  Right now, I have weddings to go to in three of the four weekends in June – and I’m a bridesmaid in two of those.  I’m exhausted just thinking about it but I know it’s like a trillion times worse for those who are actually getting married and having babies so I’m trying to keep it all in perspective.  Still – damn.

How scary is this?

I guess I got lucky in that I’ve not really had years like this before.  I know my sister has been in more weddings than I want to try to count so I’ve managed to escape all that so far.  It just seems like when it rains it pours, but such is life.  The two weddings I’m in this June are being thrown by my two oldest and dearest friends from high school, who are also standing up in each others weddings (like I said, it’s way worse for them).  This means that both weddings are in my hometown so while it’s not a cross country flight or anything, there is some travel involved.  However, the second bachelorette party is actually being held here in Chicago so that’s pretty convenient.  I know the bride-to-be wanted to hit the beach one day as they’re coming up over Memorial Day weekend and that’s when the beaches open so hopefully the weather warms up a bit between now and then.  Yeah, right.  At least it’s sunny?

As for babies, one of my closest friends up here is due in the next few weeks with her first.  It’s kind of crazy to watch her transition into being a mom and it’s the first time a close friend of mine has gone through all this.  She’s been telling me some things I could’ve done without knowing but I guess if I ever want to embark on that path myself it’s better to know what I could be getting myself into.  Of course, I’m still not convinced that growing a small person and then popping them out of my most sensitive body part is a good idea, so there’s that.  But I will say this – those newborn onesies are just too damn cute!

Now, onto the big, life altering even that has been consuming my time – the everlasting search for a new pair of stupid boots.  When I went back home last weekend for one bachelorette party, I devoted a good deal of time to scouring the mall, shoe stores and even the outlet malls in search of that perfect pair of boots.  Still haven’t found them.  I even did the thing again where I bought a pair and walked around for a bit before deciding I didn’t like those, either.  I’ve taken all this as a sign that I should just hang on to the ones I have and to hell with the rest.  I’ve also decided that if I’m having this hard of a time purchasing a  pair of boots, it’s a really good thing I’m not planning a wedding!

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No Thank You

March 25, 2013 at 11:58 am (Uncategorized) (, , )

A coworker came in today all excited because her niece finally gave birth to the baby she’s been toting around for what I’m assuming was right around 9 months.  Apparently the niece had a doctor appointment on Friday and they sent her home, then she returned on Saturday and they told her to go walk around for a few hours and come back because she wasn’t ready to drop yet.  So she went home, took a nap and then gave birth in her bathtub because it all happened so fast she couldn’t even call an ambulance.

Doing a Google Image Search for “birth in a bathtub” was a really, really bad idea. So here’s a picture of a puppy.

Um, no.  This is terrifying to me and I don’t even know the person it happened to.  Apparently her mother had to help her with the whole birthing process as EMT’s only arrived in enough time to cut the umbilical cord.  The baby weighed in at nearly 9lbs and 20 inches, too.  I shudder at the thought of giving birth to anything that size without being a little more prepared.  I guess her mom didn’t believe that she was actually giving birth until she looked down and saw a face, which is just another aspect of this story that scares the crap out of me.

Everyone involved is safe and healthy so this just wound up being a really good birthing story but it’s something that will likely haunt me until the day any potential children I may have have kids of their own.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go refill my birth control prescription.

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Circle of Life

October 30, 2012 at 3:10 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

You can’t go far today without hearing about SuperStorm Sandy and the havoc she’s wreaking.  I’m seeing something like almost 40 deaths and untold millions (billions?) of dollars in damages.  I have friends on the East Coast and while I believe everyone is accounted for, there are still many people who I do not know who aren’t and my thoughts are with all of them.  I think that weather like this is going to be more prevalent in the future and I hope that the damage done through this storm remains as minimal as possible.

In unrelated but also depressing news, yesterday I found out that a work associate of mine had a massive stroke over the weekend and was removed from life support yesterday.  He passed away last night.  This was a middle-aged business owner who cared for his ailing wife and large business but always managed to have a smile on his face as he brought donuts into our office for his regular meetings.  I saw him on Thursday and he seemed in as good as spirits as he ever has.  Sudden deaths like his and those in the eye of Sandy definitely make me appreciate all of the people in my life and just about everything else I can.

Cue the music

In the midst of all this, my cousin gave birth to her first child last night, a little boy who weighed in at 8lbs, 8oz.  This is a cousin that is more like a sister to me and as the pictures started rolling in, tears nearly rolled down my face.  It’s incredible to think that he was growing inside of her just moments before those photos were taken and I’m so excited that his delivery went well for both him and his momma.  Granted, she pushed for almost three hours before eventually having a c-section (um, ouch) but the look on her face in the first picture I saw made it clear that the whole ordeal was more than worth it.

All this has me in kind of a weird mood today (not to mention the fact that I’ve been fighting off a cold all week and have that medicine head thing going on) and I’m more thankful for everything in my life than ever before.

Especially for the fact that I’m not going to be pushing an almost nine pound person out of my nether regions any time soon.

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Honor Thy Mother

May 11, 2012 at 12:15 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Personally, I’m glad every single month that I don’t become a mother but I know there are people out there who actually want to procreate and this weekend we will be honoring the women who labored to give us life.  While I know many people do not have a mother really worth celebrating (which I find very tragic indeed), I’m extremely lucky because I think my mom is pretty much the best thing since the invention of cheese.  And I love me some cheese.  My mom is also a close friend of mine and I know that I can count on her for advice, wisdom and a reality check, should I need it.  She’s always told it how it is (like that time when I wanted to be a ballerina and she informed me I was too clumsy to even take lessons) but ultimately I appreciate that.  She’s also just plain fun, which must be where I get it.  I’m pretty sure my mom knows how much I love her every day of the year and one specific holiday doesn’t make or break that sentiment, but reminding her never hurts.

Thanks for everything, Mom.

It’s kind of strange since a lot of my friends and family members are becoming moms themselves, so the number of women I celebrate this weekend seems to be ever-increasing.  Of course I’m happy for all of them and as long as the newly pregnant doesn’t include my 17 year-old cousin, I’m cool with it.  However, I also know a few women who would be moms if they could but various circumstances stand in their way.  With fertility treatments, IVF, surrogacy and adoption all on the rise, the exact definition of a mother is constantly evolving and I think that’s awesome.  Unfortunately, some women can’t afford these treatments or solutions and simply must resign themselves to being the cool aunt that gives great hugs while sneaking some booze.  The women in my family all seem ridiculously fertile but I do have friends who are trying to figure their options out and it hurts my heart that someone who would make a truly great mom can’t be one while other women pop out babies like crazy while neglecting the ones they already have.

I’m not really sure where I’m going with all of this but I guess I wanted to remind people to take into consideration the fact that Mother’s Day isn’t always easy for some women out there.  Besides those who want children but don’t have them, there are women who have lost the children they did have (and I can’t imagine what this day must be like for them).  There are also women who could have been mothers but due to tough decisions, decided the timing or situation wasn’t right and did not go through with the pregnancy.  Just because a woman has had an abortion doesn’t mean she doesn’t think about it every now and then, even if she knows it was the right decision for her and regrets nothing.  Hell, there are even many men out there who double up and act as both mom and dad.  So keep in mind all of the various types of mothers out there this weekend and if you know someone who is, was or would be a great mom, send a little extra love in their general direction.  And if you appreciate your own mom, don’t forget to let her know – whether it’s today or Sunday or any other day of the week!

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Labor Day

September 2, 2011 at 8:07 am (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , )

Labor Day makes me think of labor pains which makes me think of the old TV show Growing Pains which makes me think of the crush I used to have on Mike Seaver which makes me think of how I used to want to have his babies which makes me think of labor pains once again which makes me think of labor and childbirth and real, actual babies and bottles and diapers and fear and terror and much, much crying.  This makes me glad I’m not pregnant but I can’t really express that because it seems like half of the women in my office are currently growing a fetus.  Which sounds and seems rather laborious in general.  Which makes me think of physical labor which makes me think of hard work and little return and the fact that my apartment needs a good cleaning.  Which makes me think of my apartment in general and how right now it has some of my belongings packed and ready to go on a road trip home to see my mom this weekend which makes me think of how I’m going to have to pack my cat too which makes me think of the upcoming five hour car trip listening to her bitch and moan.  Which makes me think of my poor manfriend who shall be forced to endure it the entire time.  Which makes me think that I hope the combined experience of the car ride with my cat and the weekend around my family doesn’t cause him to ditch me at Mom’s and drive back to Chicago screaming and terrified.  Which makes me think of Chicago in general which makes me think of pizza which makes me realize that I’m kind of hungry.  Which makes me think of stomach pains which makes me think of labor pains which makes me think of Labor Day.

So 80s, So Dreamy

Obviously my mind is a bit all over the place right now…it happens.  Hope everyone has a fantastic and pain-free three day weekend!

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