Crummy Crown

April 26, 2017 at 2:23 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )


Remember when I had to go to the dentist for the worst appointment ever, when I was super hungover and had to have a crown put on my back molar? No? Well, I do and the horror of that evening will always reside deep within my heart. However I tried to put it behind me and had mostly succeeded – I even managed to get through my most recent, routine dental appointment last month with nothing more damaging than some plaque removal so I figured I was all set. That is, until this week.

goldteethdave

Maybe I should just get a gold grill instead. Problem solved!

I was enjoying a fancy Cuban-pressed sandwich for lunch with a friend who happened to be in town when I felt it. A tooth. My thoughts went like this: Oh my GOD that’s a tooth and I don’t think I lost one. Is that someone else’s tooth?! Like that episode of Friends where Phoebe finds a thumb in her soda can and gets all sorts of rich? AM I ABOUT TO GET RICH QUICK?! Let me fish it out, oh god please don’t let it be a toenail or something like that oh CRAP IT’S MY CROWN! It’s my own freaking tooth and now I’m looking at LOSING money!

My mind works very quickly so I had all of these thoughts in about 5 seconds, or roughly the time it took to extract my crown from my mouth full of half-chewed food. I was a vision of pure loveliness, I’m sure. So not only was I worried, embarrassed and grossed out by my own damn self but then the raw nerve that had been covered by said crown began to throw a party in my face. Now. I could’ve understood the crown popping out if I was eating a caramel apple or chewing ice or opening bottles with my mouth (which is, by the way, how my genius self obtained the crown to begin with). But I was eating what was essentially a PB&J sandwich so there was just no excuse for it. Technically I was eating a guava jam and fried plantain with peanut butter sandwich but it was all still soft and the damn tooth should have just stayed put. So I got to rinse it off, call my dentist and nicely inform them of how I wasn’t going to pay for this to be fixed and then I spent my Monday evening getting the crown cemented back in my mouth. For free, so that’s something.

One would think that would be all of my health-related excitement for the week but I woke up Tuesday unable to turn my neck to the right because of some apparently funky sleep I had and I also have a bladder infection. So that’s fun and my pee looks like Tang.

At least I didn’t swallow my tooth because the last thing I want to do is explain why my tooth is stained bright orange due to being fished out of my infected urine.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: