If I Won the Lotto…

January 13, 2016 at 2:57 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )


…here’s what I would do:

  • Pay off my student loans and all student loans for all of my family members.
  • Be out of money!
  • Just kidding. Sort of.
  • Build my mom a new house on our old property and ensure she has no more bills, ever.
  • Build my dad a new house on new property (for him) and ensure he has no more bills, ever.
  • Hire nurses, cooks and maids to live with all of my grandparents and take care of everything they need and yup you guessed it – no more bills for them, either.
  • Quit budgeting for my wedding/honeymoon.
  • Travel to each continent (again – but no more hostels).
  • Buy you a car! And you a car! Everyone gets a car!
  • And all friends and family would get anything else they need, too.
  • Donate substantial funds to: the food pantry I volunteer with as well as the Greater Chicago Food Depository, The Field Museum, PAWS animal shelter, American Cancer Society, St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital and any other place that tugs at my heartstrings.
  • Update my entire wardrobe. And the wardrobes of everyone I know, if they want it.
  • Update our apartment from a one-closet, one-bedroom to…hell, a two-closet, two-bedroom would be great. Just so long as there is laundry IN-UNIT!
  • I would almost give away all lotto winnings for in-unit laundry…
  • Almost.
  • Actually, if I were truly rich I would probably splurge and buy a house – with a yard!
  • And maybe pay for someone else to always do my laundry.
  • Get a dog. And another cat. And a pony.
  • Maybe not the pony. Two dogs it is!
  • Publish my book.
  • After I take the time to finish my book.
  • Travel some more and go see all of my friends and family I’m always too broke or busy to see right now.
  • Hand out large sums of cash to strangers in anonymous, nonsensical ways.
  • Quit my job. Probably. Maybe? I really like my job and I wouldn’t want to get lazy. Perhaps a sabbatical then part-time work after that.
  • Have a kid or two. Or pay someone else to do it for me. Then hire a bunch of nannies and wet nurses to ensure I only have to do the fun stuff.
  • Adopt some more kids just because I can and they deserve a nice life, too.
  • Pay a band to follow me around and play theme songs for various moments of my life.
  • Or maybe not.
  • Maybe I’ll just learn to play an instrument instead.
  • From Jimmy Page.
  • Save the rest (not really – I would’ve gone broke long before this list is finished).
scrooge_mcduck-e1334907919275

I would probably do this, too.

Anyway. Here’s hoping!

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