Time Out for Twix

July 14, 2015 at 7:29 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , )

My mom didn’t have too many weird cravings when she was pregnant with me but there was one thing she couldn’t get enough of – Peanut Butter Twix bars. According to her, she would eat them for breakfast every day and again whenever she felt like a snack. I was enjoying them myself pretty much as soon as I was able to swallow real person food and they were basically my favorite candy bar of all time. I’m pretty sure they inspired my love of the Reese Cup, which I still hold dear to this day. Anyway, I spent a large part of my childhood assuming blissfully that the Peanut Butter Twix would, like my mom, always be there for me. And then I learned one of the first hard truths of growing up – nothing lasts forever.

The powers of candy bar production removed the Peanut Butter Twix from the shelves and my world was forever altered.

Of course, the standard Caramel Twix still remained a thing but it sucks. I remember being at Kings Island and telling a cousin about the Peanut Butter Twix dilemma and how my favorite treat had disappeared from my world. He got all exited and ran off to the concession stand, leaving me to think that perhaps there was some secret black market amusement park way of obtaining my beloved bar. Nope, they came back with a Caramel Twix and since I’m a good sport I tried it, even though I knew it wouldn’t be the same. Well, that was the day I learned I am not a fan of that weird-colored, taffy-like substance called caramel. It’s disgusting and has no business being anywhere near my mouth.

This is not a new recipe. Lies!

When I was in high school many years later, Twix announced a “brand new recipe” and brought back the red packaging of my Peanut Butter Twix. I was so excited and bought an entire damn box before I realized this “new” recipe was in fact entirely new and contained a layer of cookie below the peanut butter and chocolate. Again, my hopes were crushed as this was not the Twix I remembered but some bastardized version that really just wasn’t that good. At that point I pretty much gave up on my love of Twix and resigned myself to a lifetime of Reese Peanut Butter Cups. First world problems, right?

UNTIL FATHER’S DAY! Scott and I went to the suburbs to visit his family and stopped at a CVS along the way. Lo and behold, Twix is claiming another brand new recipe and this time they got it right! But you can’t fool me, Twix, I know your dirty little secret. You splashed some new marketing around and tried to convince the public this is a breakthrough recipe when in reality you’re no better than movie studios churning out the same old thing in order to make a profit. Not that I care – you can have my money because I have my original Twix bars back! My knees got weak when I had my first bite and it was all I could do not to cry. Then I looked at the nutritional info on the back and really wanted to cry, but I quickly got over it. I’m not going to be eating these every day for breakfast but I will be enjoying their deliciousness from time to time and chances are if I ever get pregnant they will be the main thing I live off of. Unless pregnancy messes with my taste buds and makes me crave nothing but meat, extra rare.

Maybe I’ll adopt.

Oh, and my mom was in town for the 4th of July and we shared a couple of Twix bars! Real Twix bars, not the Caramel or Cookie crap they’ve been slinging for years. It was a wonderful mother-daughter moment and I hope to have many more in the future! Just not too many or I’ll simply look pregnant without the excuse of a baby.

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