Sweatiquette

August 26, 2014 at 7:33 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )


One day last week, as I was finishing up a work out at the gym and toweling off the bucket of sweat that was pouring off of my face, I ran into someone I used to work with at my old job. This is a guy that I was never super close to but someone I would recognize and say ‘hi’ to in passing and as soon as I realized it was him, he locked eyes with me. I had kind of hoped he wouldn’t recognize me because I’ve seen people before who don’t realize the red-faced girl with her bangs pulled back and wearing a dingy tank top is someone they know, but no such luck with this guy. There was recognition in his face so I was stuck. And I was out of breath and panting, which isn’t exactly conducive to having a conversation. We each paused for a half second like a deer in headlights and then the unavoidable greeting took place. He removed his ear buds and I warned him not to get too close to me because I was so sweaty so we did one of those paltry, half-assed, one-armed hug attempt things that makes both parties feel super awkward. Especially when one party is slick with sweat.

Me, five days a week

Then we got to have the exciting type of small talk that’s specifically reserved for barely-there acquaintances. First came the whole “I didn’t realize you lived in this neighborhood!” chat, and after that we briefly spoke of people we used to work with. Then we shared how much better off we were in our new jobs and well, that about covered all we had in common. Oh, he did tell me I looked like I had lost a lot of weight (I’ve lost a little but his enthusiasm made me feel like I spent my former job dressed as Shamu) so that was nice. I think.

And that was that. We smiled and waved and I continued to wipe off the sweat drenching every part of my body as we said our good-byes. Then I saw him the next day after my next workout but we were both able to get away with a slight head nod and smile with no actual words. Hopefully that’s the extent of all future interactions because spending time chit-chatting with someone I don’t really know while puddles of sweat form under my boobs isn’t exactly my idea of a good time.

Now chit-chatting with someone I do really know while puddles of sweat form under my boobs? Sign me up! No, not really. If you see me at the gym please just wave and maybe hand me a water bottle but don’t say anything else. Unless it’s to inform me how little I resemble Shamu.

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