September 30, 2011 at 10:21 am (Uncategorized) (, , , )

As you may or may not recall from an earlier post this week, I got to experience my first mammogram Wednesday night.  Given that October is Breast Cancer Awareness month, I wanted to play the part of your friendly neighborhood advocate and tell you about my experience.  Self-exams are good and should be a regular part of any woman’s life (and men – they get breast cancer too you know!) but mammograms are something that most women will eventually utilize as well.  I realize I’m a tad younger than the average for this but given my family history and the fact that it’s always better to be safe than sorry, my doctor and I agreed it was time.

Feel free to feel yourself up!

Or rather, she decided and I did what she told me to.  Now, I remember being a wee lass and stumbling across a piece of paper with a sad and pained looking cartoon woman.  She was reciting a poem about the smashing of breasts and how just plain awful it was (this was before email forwards so the trend was to make copies and pass ’em around).  Anyway this was something my mom had in her room and it taught me a lesson in snooping because I’ve been terrified of mammograms ever since.

That said, I’m here to tell you that it was not that bad.  Seriously.  I don’t have boobs of steel or anything but the entire process was quicker and easier than I’d ever imagined (and yes I’m sure the advancements in radiology over the last 20 years had something to do with this).  It was a little awkward to have the nurse hold my girls and move them around for the x-rays but any woman who can handle a PAP smear can handle this.  She did have me hold my breath while the photos were being taken and since I was a bit nervous I was concerned I might pass out with my boob shoved in the machine but luckily that didn’t happen.  Speaking of the machine, I suppose I should describe it at least a little.  It’s basically a piece of metal that compresses your breasts in a few different ways.  You place one on a metal plate type thingy then another part of the machine comes down to press.  Sort of like that equipment that flattens cars on an assembly line before they’re junked.  Hmm…that might not be the most appropriate imagery to use here but I think it applies.  It was uncomfortable, mostly because my boobs were stuck in what felt like a very bad date with a horny Transformer, but I wouldn’t say it was painful.  Of course, the nurse informed me that the pain varies woman to woman as some are just more sensitive than others.

Maybe my boobs really are made of steel?  Yeah that’s pretty doubtful because honestly I’m kind of a baby when it comes to pain tolerance.  So you can take my word for it when I say that it was really nothing to get your panties in a twist over.  After all, your breasts will be twisted enough!


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