Airing My Dirty Laundry

June 13, 2011 at 12:26 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , , , , )


Friday morning I awoke at 4:45 with the urgent need to relive my bladder.  Upon getting back into my nice warm bed, I noticed a small spot near my feet that was damp rather than nice and warm.  I was a little confused and as I groped around in the dark to try to make sense of the situation, I stuck my hands directly into cat vomit.  It was awesome.  After letting a few choice words escape, I pulled all of the sheets off my bed and threw them on the floor.  Then I laid down on my couch and gave my cat the evil eye until it was time to get up and get ready for work.

The plan was to wash the sheets immediately upon getting home.

Perhaps I should invest in a set up like this...

I had two of my best ever friends from college staying the weekend with me so it wasn’t like I could just sleep on my couch and put off the laundry – every sleeping space was needed.  Plus, who wants to let kitty throw up fester for days on end?  So I got home Friday and with roughly 2 hours until the arrival of my boys, I grabbed a few of the only quarters I had (those things are SO hard to procure on laundry day) and walked down three flights of stairs, through the alley, through the back courtyard and down the basement stairs to our building laundry units.  The first thing I noticed was the middle washing machine was still broken.  I knew it was broken because it ate $1.50 of my hard-earned money the last time I did laundry.  I avoided it like the plague and gingerly shoved my gross sheets into another unit.  I put in my quarters, added detergent…and nothing happened.  Choice words escaped once again as the machine displayed an error light that hadn’t been lit before.  I made my way back up 5,293 (or something like that) stairs back to my apartment and grabbed more quarters.  After switching the sheets to the last machine while still trying not to touch them, I tried one last time.  And one last time, the stupid man-made machine kept my money and didn’t do a damn thing in return.  I was so thrilled with this that I absolutely did not kick any of the broken units.

So I called the maintenance guy and after I reminded him of how he told me it would be fixed two weeks ago, he mentioned that he talked to the property company and neither he nor they take care of the washing machines, so I should call the number listed on a hidden poster in the basement.  Would’ve been nice if he had mentioned that to me before, but whatever.  I called the customer service number and, after a circular conversation that pretty much just pissed me off even more, I was told that a repair guy would be out in three days and I’d have a check for $4.50 mailed to me by the end of the  month.

Just dandy, but I still had vomit-laden sheets to deal with.

Luckily, there’s a laundromat a few blocks from my place.  After selling myself on the street corner for a bit for yet more quarters, I finally managed to wash my sheets.  I also had to sit and kill time at the laundromat because by the time I walked home, it would’ve been time to turn around and go back.  I managed to finish the sheets, re-make my bed and finish tidying up with about .5 seconds to spare before the boys rolled into town.  Everything worked out in the end (as it usually does) and we all three managed to sleep all weekend without any vomit-induced awakenings.

Though I’m collecting PayPal donations to go towards my next load of dirty clothes.

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