Halloween Happenings

November 1, 2010 at 12:37 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , , )


I meant to post on Friday but I had an interview which lasted longer than expected and then I hopped a bus out of town.  Why did I leave Chicago during one of the biggest going out weekends of the year?  I just answered my own question.  I don’t have the funds to go gallivanting around the city and I had absolutely no desire to squeeze into a sexy version of some outfit that would likely make my ongoing ear infections worse than they already are.  Maybe I’m getting old, but getting wasted on expensive orange and black drinks, hopping from bar to bar while wearing a skirt that barely covers my ass in 30 degree weather is no longer my idea of a good time.  So what did I do for Halloween?  I went to a party with my mom and watched a bunch of drunk middle-aged people dance and drink some more.  And I had a blast.

A friend wanted me to borrow her old costume, which looked like this. Was. Not. Happening.

In honor of this Halloween and Halloween’s past, I decided to do a brief rundown of some of my favorite costumes over the years.  When I was in elementary school, we would have an annual parade where awards were given out.  Not to toot my own horn, but I won for Most Original every year, K-6 (okay, toot toot).  The first costume I actually remember wearing involved a clown costume with huge ears.  Apparently it was cute, because the local news decided to interview me to see what I was going to do with all the candy I had.  Obviously, I told them I would eat it and then eat last year’s candy too.  I was a smart kid and that video is probably floating around my mom’s house someplace.

The next costume I remember making involved a big sack and a bunch of trash.  That’s right, I was a recycling bin LONG before

Her costume may be cuter but mine still won me the prize

recycling was cool.  My parents helped me staple various recyclables all over a large bag, which I then wore.  I completed the outfit with a cut up milk jug on my head, and I took home the prize.

After that, I began to incorporate boxes into my costumes.  I was a dining room table one year, complete with place mats and utensils.  I was a television set another year and had a scary monster glued “on screen”.  One of my favorites was when I dressed as a fireplace mantle.  I had flames painted in the center of the box and long pieces of cardboard going off my shoulders that I hung stockings from.  These were really works of art and I wish I had thought to find some of the old photos when I was home last weekend.  You’ll just have to take my word for it.  While the costumes were (in my humble opinion) brilliantly designed, they did prove to be a bit cumbersome when it came time to walk around and trick or treat.  I always seemed to manage though and came home rolling in sugary candy goodness.

After elementary school, I slowly became too cool to dress for Halloween.  My freshman year in high school, a friend of mine and I dressed a male friend of ours in one of our dresses and put some make up on him.  He had long hair at the time and I’ll be damned if he didn’t look better in that little black dress than either of us girls ever did.  We walked him around door to door and gathered a bunch of candy, along with some sarcastic remarks.  Apparently 14 is the cut off for trick or treating, so we quit after that.  I spent a year or two handing out candy and then I was old enough to attend Halloween parties of my own.  It was somewhere around that time that it became standard for women to dress like a more-nude version of actual costumes for the holiday.  I remember dressing as a Naughty Nurse and going to my one and only frat party my freshman year of college…and I also remember faking a headache so I could leave and go do something a bit more fun.  Like have a root canal.

In more recent years, I’ve usually dressed as a hippie.  I have a tie-dyed shirt and a bunch of scarves so it’s a pretty easy look to pull off.  Last Halloween I had just been brutally dumped (but I’m so much better off  – what a difference a year makes!) and I showed up at a party with a white t-shirt and an eye patch, which was about as much effort as I could put into a costume at that time.  This year I didn’t have a costume at all but I did watch a grown woman dressed like Snooki from Jersey Shore drunkenly dance around a bonfire.  That was all the scare I needed.

Whatever you did to celebrate this pagan holiday, I hope it was fun.  If you’re a lady and dressed like a tramp, that’s fine too…after all, sometimes the tricks get all of the treats!

OH and PS – that doucebag school board official I was talking about in my most recent post?  He resigned!  Hopefully his hateful words won’t hurt any more students.  Thanks again to Mr. Anderson Cooper for calling that rat bastard out!

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2 Comments

  1. szoso said,

    I cant believe you dressed up as a naughty nurse. I guess I can forgive you. Just once.

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