Breaking & Entering

July 14, 2010 at 12:48 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )


Have you ever picked a lock?

I’ve picked a few in my day.  I once lived in an old house that had been converted into apartments and the front door there was especially (and scarily) easy to break into.  I got in more than once using nothing but a credit card.  I’ve also managed to pick locks using a bobby pin and a paper clip, but it’s not always easy.  I’m not saying this because I make a habit out of trying to break into locked areas, but every now and then the need does arise.

Like yesterday.  Apparently a mysterious, invisible force entered our center, locked one of the offices and then disappeared into thin air (this is the only way it could’ve happened since everyone here denied knowing anything about it).  As the office Jack of All Trades, it fell to me to try to get in.  This isn’t the first time we’ve been locked out of an office in our suite and the last time resulted in us calling a locksmith, which is what we ended up doing again this morning.  I spent roughly 20 minutes with all my usual tools – bobby pin, paper clip, screw driver, credit card and even a few Allen wrenches – and it was 20 minutes wasted.  I had glorious thoughts of simply kicking the whole thing in but my boss wouldn’t let me do that.  If I had been anywhere near an axe, the door would’ve probably looked like the one in that photo; unfortunately, they won’t let me keep an axe around either.  Something about working with kids, I don’t know.

Anyway, I tried and failed.  A locksmith came out here this morning and let us in (for the price of $125) and I made sure he disabled the entire locking mechanism before he left.  The lock is currently in my desk drawer, along with the approximate two dozen miscellaneous keys that I tried on the lock before giving up.  I’d like to take a brief moment and say that I was never given any keys to the interior offices when I began this job, and yet people get mad at me because I don’t have them.  Makes sense, doesn’t it?  Of course it does.

Now that I have the disabled lock, I plan on practicing my lock-picking skills.  Perhaps one day I’ll be able to move from my current job to one that allows me to use such skills on a daily basis.  That’s right, I want to be a criminal.  Maybe I can be cellmates with Lindsay Lohan.  Or I could just impress all my friends with my awesome breaking and entering skills while simultaneously making them question our friendship.  Sounds like a plan to me!

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1 Comment

  1. Mega said,

    Should’ve ignored her calls for peace and broke down the door with the straight prejudice.

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