As Seen on the Bus

April 15, 2010 at 2:46 pm (Uncategorized) (, , , )


Oh, public transportation, how you entertain me.  Every now and then I do one of these posts, because every now and then I am so highly amused by what I see and hear on the bus or el that I feel I must discuss.  This is another one of those days.

Last week, I overheard a very bright teenage kid and his mom having a conversation about cancer.  This wasn’t a depressing conversation; rather, he seemed to be asking about what kinds of cancer what types of people could get.  He brought up breast cancer and said that it was only a lady thing (I was glad his mom corrected him, or I probably would have).  He then mentioned prostate cancer, and asked his mom if women had prostrates.  Now, this kid did was not exactly using his indoor voice and you could just see his mom getting more squeamish by the second.  She tried to stammer out an answer and as we locked eyes before I got off at my stop, she seemed to be wondering how she had gotten herself into that situation.  I had myself a chuckle as I exited the bus, and was once again thankful that I don’t have any inquisitive kids of my own.

I saw a pet bird on the bus earlier this week.  Actually, I should clarify – I heard a bird and I assumed it was a pet.  The bus in question was extremely crowded and when I heard the squawking I tried to find its source.  As I craned my neck this way and that, the girl next to me looked up from her book long enough to tell me that there was a lady in the back with a bird in a cage.  I chose to believe her, as the other explanations included a person making that inhuman sound or a wild animal that was trapped in a moving bus.  Whatever it was, it wasn’t on long enough for me to figure it out.

Last night was the impetus for this post.  As I made my way home from my evening at the food pantry, I encountered some absolutely trashed Cubs fans.  These were not your average frat guy Cubs fans – these were middle-aged adults.  There were two women, who I later found out were sisters, and the husband of one of them who just sat there silently the entire ride and looked as though he was trying very hard not to throw up.  The women were blond and brunette, respectively, and you could just tell the brunette was the older sister.  She spent most of the ride yelling loudly about how she had to pay for her ticket while her sister, being cute and blond, just walked right in (who knows if this was actually the case).  Obviously she was dealing with some sibling rivalry issues.  She also talked shit about the blond’s cute new baby and gigantic diamond rock on her ring finger (to be fair, the thing was HUGE).  Then she started hollering at the rest of us on the bus, asking if we knew what it was like to get the shaft when the cuter, younger person with you got the goods.  The blond just rocked back and forth and laughed during this whole scene, and after a while demanded that her sister hand over her cell phone.  The brunette did not have the blond woman’s phone and I got to watch a few drunken panicky moments where they both searched fruitlessly for the lost cellular device.  They seemed to quit caring when they couldn’t find it, although I’m sure that changed once they sobered up.  During this all, the husband just sat and watched.  Smart man.

I doubt these women were able to function today.  Did I mention that when I saw them it was close to 9:30pm, and the Cubs game had been over for at least four full hours?  I can only imagine how much alcohol they were able to consume in that time.  At least I know it’s officially summer, now that the Cubs fans are coming out to drunkenly play.

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1 Comment

  1. 2ordinary said,

    I know how she feels. My twin always complains how I always gets the goods and I leave him with the leftovers. Wait, what?

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