Motorcycle Mama

March 3, 2010 at 3:27 pm (Uncategorized) (, , )


Sometimes I wish I had a motorcycle.

This thought occurred to me last night as I was walking behind my apartment.  I passed by a poorly winter-proofed bike in my back alley and couldn’t help but think about how, if I had one, it would be better taken care of.  My father has been a Harley Davidson owner for many years and while I don’t know a ton about bike ownership, I do know that loosely wrapping one in a tarp probably isn’t the best way to secure it for an outdoor Chicago winter.  Just sayin’.

When I lived in Indiana, I seriously considered getting my motorcycle license.  I even (unknowingly) took the test the day I went to get my actual driver’s license – the DMV woman thought I wanted the test for motorcycles and that’s the one I was given.  We figured it out when she told me I missed two questions too many and I asked why there so many about bikes.  So I know the written part wouldn’t be too difficult, at least.

Unfortunately, my dreams of motorcycle ownership came crashing down the very first time I was ever in control of a motorized bike.  I was perhaps 12 when I first drove a four-wheeler, and I almost ran it straight into a car.  A parked car, if I’m going to be completely honest.  I tried a moped about a year later and somehow managed to crash it into the side of an above ground pool – still not sure how I pulled that one off.  I learned early that having a throttle in my hand isn’t a great idea, as I apparently can’t handle that much power between my legs (insert obvious joke here).  I know I’m not the most graceful person on my own two feet, so my chances of serious injury would skyrocket if I was always on a bike.  Also, I would probably end up like this little kid here, as I know how many speeding tickets I’ve received in a car (it’s well into double digits) and I doubt I would do much better with a smaller, faster mode of transportation.  All in all, I simply don’t trust myself on a motorcycle.

Which doesn’t mean I don’t love riding.  An ex of mine had a Honda and I thoroughly enjoyed our warm-weather excursions through deserted back roads and forestries.  I loved the adrenaline rush of having nothing but air between me and…well, everything else.  I still take rides with my dad whenever I’m visiting him but his bike is much too large for me to even think about practicing on.  Besides, I don’t live in a place conducive to motorcycling.  Perhaps if I lived somewhere with open roads and consistently warm weather I would more seriously consider trying to learn to ride.  As it is, it would be rather pointless to have a motorcycle that would do nothing but sit in traffic around the city.  If I could ride it on the sidewalks it would be a different story but somehow I think that would be frowned upon.

I should also clarify that just because I like riding isn’t to say it doesn’t freak me out.  It does.  I’m fully aware of how dangerous it is and I’ve lost people I’ve known and loved to horrific accidents.  My dad actually had an incident about a year and a half ago that landed him in the hospital, and that really freaked me out.  Thankfully he made a full recovery (and went on to get another bike) but I just don’t know if I could handle that scary responsibility on a day-to-day basis.  Which is another good reason I don’t have a bike.

As a little anecdote, I was voted the girl most likely to come to our high school reunion on a Harley by my senior class.  They also voted me most likely to win on Survivor, which I found especially ironic as I doubt I would ever eat a bunch of live bugs for a television show.  I suspect they voted me these things because, as the only female openly a member of the GLBT community in my class, they figured I would fit into every ridiculous stereotype about lesbians that they’d ever heard.  That, or they just all thought I was a supreme bad ass who would have no problem killing rodents with my bare hands while barreling through the jungle on a motorcycle.

Either way, I don’t really miss high school.

I suppose in the long run it’s a good thing I’m not a motorcycle owner.  However if I ever decide to change my mind, it’s good to know…

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1 Comment

  1. Motorcycle Transport said,

    lol the baby picture is very cute

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